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Why do women lie?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by BlueWind, Mar 16, 2009.

  1. BlueWind

    BlueWind Well-Known Member

    Why do some women lie about their feelings towards a man, when they are by NO means forced into expressing these 'false' feelings???
    ...as a matter of fact, it is often they who 'push' the man into a deeper relationship, even if he might want to 'take it slowly', one step at a time.

    Why do they take the relationship to the point where the man falls totally in love the woman & is lead to believe that the woman loves him as much, if not even much more???...most of the times going to the 'extremes' of saying things to him such as:"You are wonderful, the best ever (in all senses), i could never imagine living without you! etc etc..."

    What happens next?...the moment they feel it's OK for them, they totally change their minds & just turn a very cold shoulder on him & 'run off' with another man...not even giving much or any plausible explanation to him ...leaving him totally in the dark as to why they left him!

    At this stage i could probably better understand a wife or very long-time partner doing this to her man...probably due excuses or facts such as: being in the same old routine, boredom, neglect etc, etc...
    .....but the cases i'm most curious about are those where everything seems to be going perfectly, where the passion at it's peak and so on (just to cut it short)...

    Yes, this has happened to me in my four last relationships & to at least two of my good friends...but i can only talk about my own experiences not theirs, tho' they were very similar...

    Where did i go wrong?
    Am i a complete naive idiot?
    Is it my fault?
    Is it theirs?
    Have i been used?
    Did they need me to temporarily lean on till they got their act together?
    Will it happen yet another time?
    Etc, Etc?

    Pheww...a bit scary, don't you think? (4 times in a row) & just to conclude three of these have come back later, saying:"Hey you were a good man to me, can we remain friends?"
    What should i think?
    What should i answer? Yes, No, Maybe???

    I would love anybody here, both male & female, to enlighten me on these 'enigmas' b/c that's what they are to me!

    Also if anyone has had a similar experience, please partake in this thread!

    If you have any queries, such as, further insight into the relationships, i will gladly explain myself as best as i can, as we go along.

    Thank you for your patience...looking forward to your participation.
  2. Beautiful Disaster

    Beautiful Disaster Forum Buddy SF Supporter

    its not just girls who lie, men also do..
    anyway, why do people lie, in general. Especially when there are feelings involved..

    I know it's hard not to take personal, but try not to

    it's them, not you..

    doesnt take away the heartache though.. Im sorry for you..


    Yes I am fully aware that my post is not helping you in any way. Im trying too though!

    take care
  3. AlexRA

    AlexRA Member

    Everyone lies, daily. But I did have something of a similar experience but don't really want to explain it all, but I had a relationship end about 3 months ago because "she gave up" and yet found out earlier that she apparently hasn't given up because she already found someone else. I think people just naturally lie to get what they want without thought of consequences as to what will happen around them.
  4. Summer.Rain

    Summer.Rain Well-Known Member

    If you dont want a girl to run away from you or whatever
    all you have to do is:

    1. Dont show\tell her that you love her
    2. Dont let her feel like she is in control
    3. Be aggressive (not violent!) and act like an asshole overall...

    It may look wierd, but i wrote it from personal experiance...
    Ofcourse there are more things you should know but you will gain
    it all with time..

    And for the question:
    Everyone lie, and people lie to get things they want...
    Or to avoid things they dont want...
  5. danz

    danz Well-Known Member

    Why do women lie?

    Why is the sky blue?

    They are complex and impossible to read.
    If you work it out let me know please, I would love to know the answer.
    Most (not all) don’t even know what they want so how are men supposed to know. I think they get so mixed up in their own emotions they forget what they are on about and end up sending mixed messages that ultimately leave guys wondering what the right things to say are. If you say nothing you come across as uncaring, but say the wrong thing and you get your ass chewed off.
    Better chances of winning lotto than understanding women.
  6. bluebird002

    bluebird002 Active Member

    seriously, men do this, too.

    it's a human thing rather than a gendered thing.

    i can only imagine that they lied to smooth things over and string someone along without causing ructions. or they were just 'trying it out/seeing if it would be good'

    or they really did think they felt that way at the time but experience and time showed that to not be the case.

    many people string along someone just to get something and if someone better comes along, they may up and leave that person.

    life sucks.
  7. JohnADreams

    JohnADreams Well-Known Member

    God knows. I've heard of a girl breaking up with a guy because he was too attractive. If the relationships really were going that well then it might be because you make your partners so secure and content that they became bored.

    As far as being friends with them afterward, I'd try not to be. Or if you do decide to be friends, don't treat them as well as you did when you were together. Don't let them think that they can use you for your kindness. Might sound harsh but it's a good way to draw the line.
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 17, 2009
  8. jameslyons

    jameslyons Well-Known Member

    Most people try to be nice to their partner. It takes a while for people to learn that being OVERLY AFFECTIONATE is not nice, but dishonest, confusing, and painful later on. That being said, it's important that we realize that behavior is based on experience and not gender.

    What Summer Rain said is absolutely wrong. That's a dishonest, self-protecting manner of behaving in a relationship. A good loving relationship is based on honest and communication. Being a general asshole will only attract girls with major issues. It's best to just be true to yourself, responsible, and willing to compromise. That makes a good relationship-- being a good person. The importance of being a good person instead of an actor -- you get to date good women.

    And John is also right when he suggests separating yourself from your ex once they become "a friend." Being friends and not lovers means that you have the right to not be at their beck and call. All too often, "being friends" just means they want you to be the emotional support without any physical or emotional affection on their part.

    Now it's not impossible to be friends with people after you try a romantic relationship. It just is important to remember that you're not in a romantic relationship and you don't have to compromise as much as yourself as you did in the relationship. Overall though, there's nothing like a friendship based on a experience with another person. The more somebody knows you, the better the relationship can be.
  9. BlueWind

    BlueWind Well-Known Member

    Thanks to all of u that have replied... i'm always willing to learn from u all...& find all your opinions VERY interesting & very educational !!!

    I'd just like to add that:

    i know that men lie too (there's already an existing thread about that 'why do men lie?'

    i don't think i was OVER AFFECTIONATE to them, at the most equally to their affection towards me ... & i'd go as far as to say that they were over affectionate to me...which was great btw !!!

    i also believe that i played the role of 'the man' w/ them in every sense of the word...now not so sure??? b/c maybe i don't really know what being 'the man' really means to women???

    i agree w/ JohnADreams & jameslyons re: not being TOO friendly w/ them after the break-ups & that i have done...

    3 of these women i considered v. intelligent (coz i find it v. hard to be w/ a woman that is not, even if she might be physically beautiful...hey ppl, hope i'm not sounding pretentious about myself)

    Anywayz, 1 of these has been literally 'hunting me down' trying to get me back...but the pain that she caused me plus my ego &/or pride, have made me decide to have nothing to do w/her ever again...

    another 1 is giving me strong hints of wanting to get back together...phewww i really liked her & am rather confused if to give it another try or not...i am resisting the temptation tho' & inside i feel that it could never be as good as the first time...

    the only 1 i have really forgiven is the 1 i consider the least intelligent... (hey, who am i to judge other beings??? i can't even judge myself lol)...b/c i really believe she doesn't know the extent of the 'damage' she caused me & i am way more friendly with her than i am w/ the others...

    I also firmly believe that humans are just animals & that instinct plays an important role as to the way we behave in love & sexual matters & all other matters too...actually in my opinion most animals act much more sensibly...

    Anyway i'll leave it at that for now & hope you guys will try to further enlighten me on this subject ... TY all again, take care & keep smiling...luv & hugs, Frank.:smile: