Why do women pretend not to reward assholishness when they clearly do?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by Lost., Jun 19, 2010.

  1. Lost.

    Lost. Well-Known Member

    When i'm more abrasive with girls I find that it draws them more towards me.

    Like, they find it cute and feel they need to work to get to the softer side of me.

    When I play the nice guy, I might as well be invisible.

    I generally find it much easier and rewarding to be on the prickier side.

    It annoys me because I hear women constantly prattle on about sensitivity in a partner and how they aren't 'one of those types' who dig jerks. Most of you strike me as really clueless as to what truly draws you in.
  2. mandyj101

    mandyj101 Well-Known Member

    Hi Lost. ..

    I cant deny some women are that way.. but not all are..
    "Treat em mean.. Keep em keen" doesnt wash with everyone..
    Who knows.. you could find 'the one'.. try to apply that quote by being a total jerk .. then losing her for ever..
    Why take the chance? Might aswel just be nice in my opinion .. :angel:

    Take care x

  3. Avarice

    Avarice Well-Known Member

    Because we're pathetic. We like the mystery of someone who doesn't wear his heart on his sleeve and reveal all his cards at once.
  4. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    It's what we know -vs- what we think we want.

    Perhaps it's like how men want the woman with the perfect body who is the perfect hoe who is the perfect lady who worships him who has everything ready for him right at that moment.

    Women want the rough guy who always knows what she wants and is always tuned into her feelings so she feels safe and loved. She wants him rugged to do the hard stuff in life but sees the household and the family a priority over the guys and sports.

    We keep thinking that because "we" are in love that this is the one that is our dream. Dreams are just that, dreams.

    I had to learn to live life on life's terms. Humans are not mind readers and are not robots or slaves. To have any kind of relationship is to tell the truth to each other about needs and wants and recognize that neither is going to get most of that.

    The reality is that at the end of each day we have a roof over our head, nutritious food in our belly, care and medicine if we are ill, and the companion who shares it all with us.

    Oops, I could ramble on for hours like this. :)
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 24, 2010
  5. Prinnctopher's Belt

    Prinnctopher's Belt Antiquities Friend SF Supporter

    One of my theories is that women are inherently and genetically programmed to be attracted to the strong type, protective and able to defend, and they see this trait overwhelmingly in the bad boys, as opposed to the humble gentlemen. Anyway, it's just a phase, and if they get out of it, they grow in wisdom and experience, they learn to appreciate the gentlemen, who will be most able to provide and care for her and a family in a stable home; not the men who will end up useless, absent, or in prison.


    So, maybe you are attracting the women who have not yet grown out of their primitive bad boy complex, unfortunately.
  6. Ziggy

    Ziggy Antiquitie's Friend

    I once liked a lass but I thought she didn't like me, because women only like men who are a certain way. And I found out she liked me, but she thought I didn't like her, as men only like women who were a certain way too... And so in our lives, we ended up finding no-one at all.

    If only we could just accept who we are, rather than spending our time worrying about who we should be.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 24, 2010
  7. kyle88

    kyle88 Well-Known Member

    Women who are into those kind of guys or play those kind of mind games are usually the immature ones who probably have some of their own problems (mentally)...

    I know girls who are not into those kind of guys at all, and are mature... the ones who are into those guys are usually not "wife-material" (if thats the correct word to use).
  8. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Don't blame them Lost, it's not their fault. Women are instinctively drawn to a certain type of 'alpha-male' personality, but in the long run they will much rather be with a caring, loving man who will be a good father for their children. It's called sexual selection and nearly all sexually reproducing females select this way. And who says that you don't learn anything useful in school? :rolleyes:
  9. greyroses

    greyroses Well-Known Member

    mmm, well, one: i dont normally like guys...but im gonna try and answer. the only guys i ever have liked are really funny and unselfish. you may not believe me but theres nothing i can do about that. i dont like jerks because i just see jerks. my father is a selfish jerk and i dont want to be within a hundred feet of another. i think some people (not just women!) have the fantasy of solving the others problems. if they can see something to fix, and imagine it different, then it's a date. but not all *are* like this. i dont like insincerity either, and can smell it a mile away. i dont like when people play a role because then it feels like their lying to me and i dont want to waste my time on what may turn out to be a poor investment. if you were to "play the nice guy" i would dislike you even more than an authentic jerk because on top of just being a personality i'll pass on, you would have been trying before we even really knew each other to pull a fast one on me (in my view). it may also have to do with the type of women you are going for.
  10. Kaos General

    Kaos General Well-Known Member

    To be fair to the ladies i think their at a loss to explain this as well as i think even they dont know the answer to this question