Why do words matter when I can't even have a normal conversation. Why do words matter when all I know how to talk about is problems. Why do they matter when all the use I see them for is explanation and expression. Why does it matter.. To me.. Why can't I just talk to people normally? Why do I have to repeat myself. Why am I a constant bother? I don't understand myself. I don't know why I can't communicate right. I don't know why I am so messed up. I don't know why I am so bothered by every little thing. I don't know why I have attacks sometimes for no reason, why I care what people think of me. I don't know why even passing by someone walking down the sidewalk can set me off. I don't know anything.. I feel like this is me and I won't ever change. I can't change my inability to interpret things right, even though when I logically know the event was not intended to harm me.. Even with logic.. Nothing makes it feel better. I don't know why I feel and am so selfish. I don't know why I have so many triggers and issues just trying to live here on earth. I feel like I will never be able to "grow up" I will always be naive.. I don't know if I wish I could talk better or not.. I know nothing different. I don't know really who or what I am.. I don't understand why I am this way.. But I know I am different.