Why do you call Suicide Hotlines?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by touglytobeloved, Aug 13, 2008.

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  1. touglytobeloved

    touglytobeloved Well-Known Member

    Why do you call Suicide Hotlines, or Samarithans, or psychiatrists?
    Whats the point?
    Can they solve your problems? If your problems are real, i mean really real, and unsolvable, how can they help you? With words? Words can not help you, at least they cant help me, they cant solve my problems. I know the solution, and it is unreachable, with other words, I need a miracle to solve my problems, i need to find out that all of this is just a bad dream.
    So, what if I call and email them? And have a long conversation, tell them my story, my problems,...etc... And they will tell tell me that tomorow things will be better? What can they say to me that will change my mind?
    So, if the problem is only in my head, then they might help me, otherwise, they cant.
    And, if I know that there is no solution, and if Im suicidal, why the hell would I want to be saved?

    Im just to tired of all, and I need some rest, I need some sleep, I just need to find my peace. Thats all I want. Its not much...
  2. Shogun

    Shogun Well-Known Member

    As far as I know, they're just there to listen, rendering them completely useless to me. Countless times I've asked them for advice and such, countless times they don't want to take on the kinda responsibility that could end up biting them in the a$$ if it's the wrong advice and I end up killing myself due to it.

    Like I'd kill myself because of what some stranger has advised me to do over the phone. :rolleyes:

    Yeah, they're pretty pointless to me. Half the time I just want someone to talk back at me.
  3. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    You have a good point toughtobeloved. No one can solve your suicide problem except for you. All people can really do is help you cope with it for one more day. These hotlines are avaliable so that someone who is suffering can call and have another human being to talk to. Sometimes, having someone to talk to can mean the difference between life and death. So to answer your question, what's the point of calling a suicide hotline? You should call them if you are feeling suicidal and need someone to talk to. Don't call them expecting that they are going to solve all of your problems for you and make everything all better. You have to do that for yourself.
  4. rojomi

    rojomi Banned Member

    I don't, but would if I felt need of one. went thru a brief phase of calling them, but since the means could be lots of things available which I have no intention of using at this time & don't feel in crisis. All that was asked of me was to say I had no immediate urge or plan. Also the question of "Would you like to go a hospital?" my answer, "No". I would use 1 again as they don't send out the butterfly nets. But their resources are limited, training basic and
    scripted sort of. A net if needed, but I don't right now.fwiw
  5. BioHomocide

    BioHomocide Well-Known Member

    The only time I ever called a suicide hot line was when I was 14 and I swallowed a bottle of pills. The lady practically called me silly and told me I was hurting my liver. I didn't spend much time listening to her shit and I hung up.
  6. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    i don't believe that my problems are unsolvable, so that's why i go to the psych, and use the hotlines. i know i can't come up with all the answers myself, and i don't always agree with what the psych has to say but it is enough to know i *might* be wrong, if that makes any sense. for instance i tell myself i am not worth helping. i have learned that this negative self-talk is a leftover from abuse i experienced as a child. so... if i am wrong about my self-hatred, might i also be wrong about suicide as a solution.

    all of this to say, i don't know what challenges you are facing but i hope you will come to believe that someday, somehow you will overcome them.
  7. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I don't call hotlines or summeratans. I see my doc, and I talk to my therapist and take my meds as perscribed. I prefer the one on one you get that way. If I would call the hotlines I would clam right up. I like the forum because no one knows who I am so I can open up and talk, (sometimes ranting) HaHa!!
  8. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    I don't use them. I used an email service from the samaritans. one time. i wasn't impressed....

    either i talk to someone who i know who cares, talk to myself, or something..
  9. downunder

    downunder Well-Known Member

    I once rang and couldn't get through. Then another I rang and got through and was so shocked that I got through that I didn't know where to start and just hung up. I prefer forums. At work we have an after hours number you can call but I don't trust them, since they dobbed me into the CAT team. My husband rang welfare at work to organise for counselling and they just gave him the CAT team phone number.

    My friend though rings Lifeline all the time and finds them to be really good.
  10. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    Sometimes they can help you to see a different view of your issues. There are so many preconcieved notions we have when it comes to trying to deal with things that we sometimes cannot see the obvious. It doesn't always help, but sometimes just having someone there to listen and help talk you through things brings a little relief from the desperation.
  11. touglytobeloved

    touglytobeloved Well-Known Member

    Yeah, but we can find that here on SF, too. I dont think that there is a difference, people are reading here, and when Im writing I can be even more honest rather than when im talking.
    And I have talked and talked, and the only thing that people have told me was : It will be better tomorrow, you'll find what you nedd, maybe...
    So, everyone knows that there is a chance, but they also know that the chances are less than 2%, and even then I will not be fully happy.
    So, if I call Suicide hotlines, this will not be changed...

    Yet, I will say again: for those who still have hope and they are just searching for a way to find the solution or to pass through dificult period, yes, they can call suicide hotlines. But those like me, who are living with no chance for tomorrow, why should they call suicide hotlines? ... To help them to stay alive for just few more days or weeks or months and spend them in misery?
  12. rojomi

    rojomi Banned Member

    Don't know what to say except that I have realized that it's not me who will chose the time, or if I do it will be in a muddled state of mind so i'm not really choosing. "An accident, Dolores, can be an unhappy woman's best friend"
    -Vera Donovan. But I would want to talk it over with a trusted somebody or done a whole sl of research before considering such a drastic measure. So, if those measures haven't worked, then I'd still keep on trying. maybe:unsure:. And the hotlines, yeah, i'd give it a shot if I thought there was a hair of a chance.
    Sure, could b a turning point. that's all.:blink:
  13. Abacus21

    Abacus21 Staff Alumni

    I think it does depend on what support you're looking for, as to whether you find them helpful or not. Eg - if you're looking for someone to just listen, then Samaritans are great, but if you want advice, then they won't give it to you. Their philosophy and thought behind that, is that you've probably tried everything that the volunteer's gonna suggest, which is fair enough, I think.

    As gentlelady said - it can offer a perspective on your problems that you may never have thought of before, just because they're not all embroiled with the emotions of it all, and the person on the other end of the phone can take a step back from it all, whereas you (understandably) cannot.

    As for those who have had poor responses from volunteers / hotline workers etc, then that's a shame - I know it's easy, but if you feel like you want to call hotlines again, then don't let one crappy experience put you off - you may just get that person on the other end who makes you see things from a different, better light :)
  14. dEAthdAycAke

    dEAthdAycAke New Member

    sometimes i think to myself that its all bullshit, that "seeing things from a different/better light" is like basically trying to find a way to trick yourself and fool yourself into believing something isnt what it truly is. maybe im wrong there, but thats just how i feel / see it.
  15. rojomi

    rojomi Banned Member

    the last call I made, a couple years ago, a girl said to me off the cuff, "you sound like it's everybody else's fault or something, above it all." and she was right even though both my parents had recently died etc. So, it was a voice of reason saying "Arrive back down on planet earth, with the rest of us". I did
    Advice, a shoulder to cry on, no. But a wake up call yes if u care to listen.
    worked @ the time, now-who knows?
  16. Abacus21

    Abacus21 Staff Alumni

    Nah - I wouldn't say it's about ''tricking'' you into believing anything... it's not like Santa / Easter Bunny etc ( :laugh: ) - all they're trying to do is perhaps give you a different angle on a situation that you hadn't thought of before ... it's still dealing with the facts of your situation, just looking at it from a different view :)
  17. rojomi

    rojomi Banned Member

    :agreed: I love being totally ignored! And I mean that.
  18. Abacus21

    Abacus21 Staff Alumni

    Undoubtedly they only offer short-term relief, but if it helped you at the time, then that's great :) .

    Now you're not :) .
  19. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    It also depends on what you feel is most helpful to you. Some people are not comfortable putting their things down in writing but can talk about their feelings. The hotlines can work very well for these people. If writing is your thing, then forums such as this and e-mails to support people may be what you need. We all have different needs, and the individual is the one to best determine what that is for them.
  20. saeyoon Chung

    saeyoon Chung Well-Known Member

    I can see your point, esp "I need a miracle to solve my problems" part.
    But I have to respectfully diagree with you.

    The counselors(on suicide hotlines) are NOT supposed to solve your(or my) problems.

    They're supposed to ask the right questions, help break down what you're going through and say "OK, here's what we have, you have option A and B" and allow you to decide what's best for you.
    (be it relationship issues, lack of self-esteem, debt.... anything, they are there to help)

    We all need to talk to someone when we're not in the right state of mind,(paranoid) so we don't act on impulse and do dumb things.

    I don't know what to think of psychotherapists, but I've talked to them a few times and I can appreciate what they do. My life wasn't getting any better by any means but I did feel relieved after telling her all about my life and hearing her perspective on things.(and not be judged)

    Hate to admit it but we all know there is no miracle, some magical fairy dust or quick one-time solution to all our problems
    It pains&scares me.. fully knowing the only one who can change anything in life is ME(fortunately/unfortunately) and I can only do so much.... too many personal demons.. in and around me.

    Well... I spent 90 min typing this.. it's 1am.. dang.
    I just wanted to say those people CAN definitely be helpful for some people and I don't want any of you to throw away that option.

    *yawns*(I did yawn just now, I worked till 11pm) good night..
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