why do you care?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by whybother?, Aug 17, 2012.

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  1. whybother?

    whybother? Well-Known Member

    Ive been planning my death these past few days as the last attempt was a failure..

    anyway i work at a big supermarket and the other day an elderly gentleman sat on a bench near my department and he died shortly after he sat down (reasons unknown) and loads of ppl i work with was crying about it ..why tho? u didnt know him..u didnt see his body like i did..and i wasnt triggered by this, tbh i was jealous (sounds kinda sick i know) but why do people on here care if i die? ive spoken to a few of u so i understand if uve got to know me, but what about the other people? u have no idea who i am, wat i look like, what ive done..yet in chat people always say they care ...if i go through with my plan and i died who wud genuinely be upset on here? and why???

    It just seems im only alive so i work ... i have no life...just seems like a waste of time getting out of bed in the morning...i cry myself to sleep every night :(

    Everyone seems to forget about me...feel like im just shit on peoples shoe..

    Ive heard people say things will get better u never know whats around the corner ...well this past year theres been nothing but emptiness ..barely surviving .. im sick of being told to wait..WHY?!? so i see another fucking pointless day?!?
  2. pancake111

    pancake111 Well-Known Member

    I guess I care because I know what its like and I know its hell. I also know that there are things in this life to enjoy and things that can make you happy. I know there a way out of this hell, but its different for everyone, but we all have to work to get it. Suicide isn't going to make you happy because you won't be alive to feel it. There is happiness out here for you, you just have to find it.
  3. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    To me, any death is sad. Life is the only thing we have that we can't get back. We can always replace homes, cars, friends, jobs, toys, money... but we can not get life back once it is gone. It is very sad to know than anybody died... regardless if I knew them or not.
  4. whybother?

    whybother? Well-Known Member

    ive not really enjoyed life for awhile now..even with friends i just feel like they are only my friends becuz they pity me..nothing makes me happy, nothing makes me laugh or even just think to myself ''life isnt to bad'' ..just 1 hellish road to bullshit, im just a waste of a life :( i can plan out 2morrow down to the minute wat will happen..same bullshit i go through every damn day :(

    off topic ..u have my respect for having the metallica signature :)
  5. whybother?

    whybother? Well-Known Member

    I must be a cold heartless bastard because i didnt really feel bad the man died, i was fuming with jealousy that it wasnt me ... i understand where ur coming from pickwithaustin..i just must be selfish :-/
  6. Blackbird33

    Blackbird33 Well-Known Member


    A lot of what you're saying I can relate to everyday is the same emptiness that I had the day before. Except I don't really have any friends one or two people that will text me every few weeks to say hello but that's it. Sometimes when I read a story about someone dying in accident I ask myself why them why not me especially when I read they had a family and loved ones. If I died very few people would care or be remotely affected by my death.
  7. whybother?

    whybother? Well-Known Member

    yup same, if i died only a few family members wud be upset and like 2 of my friends ..not many people really give a fuck about me, and i recently just gave away my iphone 4 to a friend due to the fact that no1 txts or calls me EVER..kinda pointless having a fone or even a facebook account these days :-/ just cant stand the soul crushing loneliness :( well going to cry myself to sleep, another pointless day to look forward to :(
  8. pancake111

    pancake111 Well-Known Member

    Haha thanks. Do you have a therapist or a psychistrist that you could talk to.
  9. whybother?

    whybother? Well-Known Member

    well thats the thing, i went to my doctor who has put my name down to see a therapist..but theres a wait..so i went to A&E told them i was suicidal and ive attempted a few times and they STILL put me on a waiting list..this country is backwards i swear ...
  10. spidy

    spidy Well-Known Member

    I hear you and yes to not know somebody in person seems weird why would we care.Well i do to be honest and i have been so near death a few times as i didnt want to be here.As this forum goes ppl here actually were glad to see me back and releaved so yes we do give a shit otherwise wouldnt waste time trying to help ppl.Take that help when its avaliable and work on getting better as being down really drains energy.We are here to support and we do give a shit and one thing we do not judge.Please take care and please keep posting
  11. whybother?

    whybother? Well-Known Member

    well another pointless day done for...shit day at work..got a free house but no friends..another night alone :( my life wouldnt be so bad if i just had atleast 1 friend who actually wanted to come round just to hang out..not becuz they pity me ......

    drinking a bottle of jack daniels on an empty stomach..lets see where this leads to ..might actually grow sum and fucking end this pathetic lonely existence
  12. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Nigel :hug: :hug: :hug: You shouldn't talk like that! I'm sure there are lots of people who would like to be your friend , I know if I knew you irl id be your friend :) Just keep looking xx don't think about ending your life, think positive things on how you can improve your life or try to help someone today :)
  13. pancake111

    pancake111 Well-Known Member

    If I knew you in real life I would be friends with you. I don't have many, if any. And if I were you, I would lay off the alcohol. The last thing you need is to be taking a despressant.
  14. kroque93

    kroque93 Member

    i literally don't get this either OP.
  15. anonymousihs

    anonymousihs Active Member

    I care because though I haven't spoken to you much I know how much it sucks to feel like that and I wouldn't want anyone to go through that. Also I've been told I suffer from martyr syndrome so can't really help myself. Lol
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