Why do you cut ?

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by ProzacDeathWish, Feb 24, 2007.

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  1. One can easily assume that anyone who visits a suicide forum is a person with some desperate issues ( such as myself ) but I have frequently read posts where some of you have the habit of cutting yourselves.

    I don't mean to sound naive, but what motivates you ? Why do you find the experience rewarding ?
    Last edited: Feb 24, 2007
  2. messedup

    messedup New Member

    hi PDW

    i have been self harming for bout 8 yrs now...within that time only 3 of them were true suicide attempts. Cutting makes me feel better...its a release, the only thing i am in control of in my life at that minute in time...something noone can take away from me or control...i havent harmed since halloween and feelin good for it, but that doesnt mean the urge isnt there...my god it really is!

    doin alternative things...snappin an elastic or screaming into a pillow...and its helped so far, long may it continue as stiches really hurt!!!

    hope this helps answer!! xxxx
  3. I don't remember when I first began. Too long ago. But I do remember going into the bathroom, picking up a razor, and just scraping it across my legs. Felt so much better. That is when it all began. At that age, seriously, I was going through ALOT of shit. Now, it has got all so much worse. Right now, even if I just see a sharp object, I will use it. I have little control, unfortunetly. I don't know why I cut. I just do it now. *sigh*
  4. joeysephine

    joeysephine Well-Known Member

    i first started about 3 year ago, when i do it i get a rush, my heart starts beating fast and i just feel so releaved, but ever since i started iv been finding it difficult to stop, i did well once as i didnt do it for about 5 month, but i just got to depressed and i got, a kind of craving for it
  5. broken_slate

    broken_slate Member

    i find that my head is so full of stuff, flashbacks, voices, so many intrusive thoughts and images its like a mist behind my eyes so that i cant think or see clearly. as soon as i hold that blade and drag it across my skin that mist clears and i can breathe again. i've been self-harming for 7 years now, and although it causes a lot of problems, like going to be stitched up afterwards, it is the only thing i have found that really makes things better, even just for a little while.
  6. zusanna

    zusanna Active Member

    i cut for a variety of reasons.
    i almost always cut now when i'm drunk. last night i got drunk with friends, went home afterwards and because i know i can cut deep when i've been drinking, i almost immediately grabbed a razor and started cutting away at my legs. my thighs and calves are covered in cuts now. most are superficial. i think the pain and blood alone help - not how deep they are. my room was trashed, i am going to probably have to throw away my area rug because there are bloodstains everywhere. i wasn't angry or sad when i did this, but i did cry. i'm still not sure why i did it. alcohol makes me do some pretty dumb things.

    and then at times, i cut because i am very upset and want to make the bad feelings go away. cutting preoccupies me and gives me something to do. i have to deal with all the cleanup and sometimes bandaging, therefore i'm not dwelling on whatever is on my mind that's bothering me.

    i also cut to end my life. those are the times i use my left arm and cut very deep. fat cells can be very cool to look at. i like picking out individual bits of fat with my fingertips to uncover a vein. gross, i know. :biggrin: the last time i tried to kill myself, i felt life slipping away and realized i hadn't written a suicide note. i wanted to write something for my parents, and being in the shower and not having paper, i carved it into my thighs instead.
  7. Lucie

    Lucie Well-Known Member

    I started at 12, locked in the bathroom I dragged a bran new razor blade across my wrist then nearly had a panic attack when I saw how deep It was, and the dark red vein blood. I needed a trip to hospital and of course lied to my parents how it happened.

    Cutting/burning is something I do when I'm really angry or upset, and it helps alot. It's a distraction from the emotional pain.
  8. Bob26003

    Bob26003 Well-Known Member

    Zusanna, You should get some serious help Hun, Seriously. That ain't right. Something has to change. :huh:
  9. John6491

    John6491 Well-Known Member

    i cut because it just makes me feel better than i did. Its like it relives the pain for a while. I tried to stop cutting but then got mad and wanted to again and i did i cut my hand then made a hand print on a piece of paper from the blood...
    When things are going bad thats what i turn to to feel a little better i don't know how or why it does but i don't care anymore as long as it helps.
  10. zusanna

    zusanna Active Member

    how on earth do you separate me from everyone else and say I'M the one who needs serious help, and that I'M not right? people have told me my whole life that i'm not "right", and you reinforcing that does not help.
  11. Is This It

    Is This It Well-Known Member

    I love the look and colour of cuts and blood, and the feeling I get as I do it. Its a kind of rush I suppose, its seems to relieve my stress and anger and make me feel better.
  12. Malcontent

    Malcontent Staff Alumni

    I cut to see my inner pain on the outside. And to see how much I can stand.
  13. Pills

    Pills Well-Known Member

  14. just dont care

    just dont care Well-Known Member

    i am not that sure anymore i just know that i feel better when i cut.
  15. So far most of you have basically similar reasons that motivate you. Correct me if I am wrong:

    Cutting is not a suicide attempt ? (ie, even if death were an accidental result.)

    Cutting is a means of releasing painful emotions. ?
  16. Deaths_Angel

    Deaths_Angel Guest

    I have been cutting almost 6 years now. and I can say that i started for extremly wrong reason. I have originaly started to be like my friends. And my life was great. Then after I started. My life went down hill. And the cutting became more serious. And it now means to be as if you were to get high. I need the high that it gives me. It makes me feel like nothing in the world can go wrong. I feel like my life is perfect. I mean I trully regret it now. I hate those scars that just wont fad away.

    If I go a month without cutting and something major pisses me off or something does not go the way i want it to. I need to cut and I can not ignor the feeling. When that happens it is as if an alcohalic can not have a beer. I go insane litterly. I turn into a person you dont ever want to know.

    But to answer your question. I cut for the high that i get. and I also use it to show people who make me angry or hurt me that I can hurt them.(I know that is a messed up way of thinking but in my eyes if i mark my body it is hurtting them as if i had punched them or something.)

    I hope that can help you understand more.
  17. fallen-star

    fallen-star Member

    Because I want the noise in my head to stop.

    I dont want to die, I just want a repsite from the noise and the feelings going round and round and round. It works for a while and then Im ok till something else sets me off. Ive tried to resist but found that I get worse and worse till I try something worse than cutting. Its a concious decision when i feel myself starting with 'the feelings' - few small cuts are definately the lesser evil for me.
  18. Iqra

    Iqra Member

    I cut myself i feel inferior to this world. All the ppl who criticize me everyday, i feel like somehow it is my fault and y do i even exist. So i cut myself to punish me, even though i was emo for 2 years and jst stopped this year. bt now problems r arising again and i feel like cutting myself bt promised my bf tht i wont, so thts holding me back. i try 2 take out the pain thru crying instead bt i think once u strt cutting its addictive. its like marijuana for pot heads....we need it 2 live off of. i wish i could cut myself, bt god also holds me back. and im glad i have strtd not 2 cut bt before i used 2 like cut on every part of my body....wrists, arms, shoulders, stomch, thighs. including carving my bfs initials on my chest and his name on my thighs and spiling hot oil on my feet and stuff.
  19. birdy

    birdy Well-Known Member

    Why do you cut?
    Well there are 2 (scientific) aspects...
    the first one is that in a state of panic or fear (caused by self harm) your body releases 2 hormones. Adrenalin, a stress hormon, and endorphins, the hormon for happiness. so harming youself gives you the feeling of glee.
    the second aspect is a more psychological aspect. blood = life. and if your life is filled with pain, desparation, etc. seeing your own blood gives you the feeling of releasing and easing the pain. then of course if you have the feeling of being inconsequential, of having no meaning and no power, you get an emotional boost in the thought of being able to do things others cant influence...
    cutting or self harm altogether is not a suicide attempt. there are lots of people harming themself without being suicidal.

    hope this answerd your question...
  20. Although cutting has no particular appeal to me ( no offense ) I do sometimes wonder what my corpse will look like after I have finally completed suicide ( as my method of execution will be a powerful handgun. ) Obviously there will be copious amounts of my blood strewn about......but I will certainly be in no condition to appreciate it. :dead:
    Last edited: Mar 2, 2007
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