Why do you cut?

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by detest, Feb 24, 2012.

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  1. detest

    detest Banned Member

    I did it because I was told that it would keep me occupied and would stop me from concentrating on the agonies of the mind.

    It didn't really hurt (I even tried rubbing salt into the wounds :huh:). So it was quite easy for me to stop.

    But is there any other reason that you do it?
     
  2. Madam Mim

    Madam Mim Well-Known Member

    I do it to feel alive. For me, it varies between wanting it to hurt and wanting to bleed. While I'm doing it, I can't think about anything else; it clears my mind and stops everything else from hurting for a little while. It also helps me sleep. And I like knowing I'm walking around with it and no-one knows, it's my own secret.

    Mim
     
  3. Growing Pains

    Growing Pains Well-Known Member

    I'm not sure why I started. I really can't remember. I remember hearing my sister mention that a friend of hers did it and that's where I got the idea, but past that, I can't recall what made me SH for the first time. I continued to do it all throughout middle school because it became a coping mechanism. I was bullied a lot back then (not only by bullies, but by someone I thought was my "best friend") and cutting became a safety net. I stopped for a while in high school. Can't remember why I started again, either. But once I started again, it was all down hill from there. I didn't start with cutting the second time, but another method which (eventually) led to me cutting again. Now, I SH for various reasons - I do it when I'm numb and want to be reminded that I'm alive, I do it when I'm at rock bottom and contemplating suicide as I find it helps distract my mind long enough to consider the repercussions of doing so, I do it even when I'm in my "up" moods now. Sure, it helps. For five minutes. And then after that, I'm left cleaning up the mess (now that I'm doing it worse than I used to... literally). But I continue to do it, anyway, because a part of me feels like it's all I'm worth.

    And it kind of helps me sleep, too. I never realized that until last night when I couldn't sleep until... well, yeah.
     
  4. Mr Stewart

    Mr Stewart Well-Known Member

    brain reset. Hopeless thinking or nervous tension builds and builds and builds. Need to do something to release pressure. Nothing works as well as this for that purpose.
     
  5. Fredericks

    Fredericks Well-Known Member

    I like that explanation. I think it's a similar function for me, too. When everything else fails to calm me down, cutting/burning tends to help. Sometimes it doesn't, but it usually does. I also do it when I'm mad at myself or ashamed of myself: in those instances, it's a combination of punishment and reaffirmation: I'm pissed at myself, but cutting feels like an accomplishment, so it's proof that I'm not totally useless.
     
  6. letty

    letty Banned Member

    I feel like im cutting away the stress, pain, tension. seeing the blood gives me some kind of rush. I feel I have some control over things that are bothering me.
     
  7. FrainBart

    FrainBart Staff Alumni

    I cut for a few reasons. I first started cutting as a punishment to myself, but the strange feeling after felt good, but each time each cut never fulfilled that feeling, so got worse. I cut now for release, for control. And when I bleed, I see it as the poisons in my life flowing out of me.
     
  8. Xscapeply

    Xscapeply Well-Known Member

    I don't actually remember that well why I began. An outlet, I suppose?

    It gives me something else to focus on when I'm in emotional pain. It makes me feel something when I'm completely numb. It helps me calm down when I panic.

    I deserve it. To be punished. To "punish" someone who's hurt me, even if they're never to see what I've done to myself. It's not fair that all the hurt and how terrible I feel should only be on the inside. To make it so no one wants me because I don't deserve to have anyone. It gives me a sense of control.

    The cuts and scars are beautiful. Blood fascinates me.

    To make myself ugly, to permanently scar myself and forever give up the hopes to join the "pretty", "happy" people. I hate myself, my body and what I’ve become. I am everything that I hate.

    And actions speak louder than words. No one listens to me if I try to say anything about how awful I'm feeling, so doing something is the only thing that works.
     
  9. prophetbirds

    prophetbirds Well-Known Member

    It's usually a release for an emotion, whether that be anger, misery, or anxiety. And because my body feels dirty... and when I bleed I feel like I'm purging part of that dirt. Because I can't sustain my eating disorder without my parents noticing, but I can cut without them noticing. I just want to take away little parts of me every day until I disappear.
     
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