Why do you guys care if people kill themselves?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by walt, Jan 15, 2009.

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  1. walt

    walt Member

    This is a completely serious post. I'm not trying to be flippant or insensitive. I'd like to know why people care about strangers dying. Also I'd like to know why it's said that suicide isn't the solution. Death a is a solution to pretty much any problem I can think of.
  2. JohnADreams

    JohnADreams Well-Known Member

    It's because compassion is not entirely dependent on familiarity.

    Death isn't a solution in the same way that smashing my PC whenever it breaks down isn't a solution. You don't solve the problem, you just destroy it and ruin everything else that could have been salvaged if you managed to fix things.
  3. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    Good post.

    I find there is feigned compassion, there is desperation and people trying to create an image of saviour and that if they don't appear to be doing ABC they aren't "helping" in some way.

    There is compassion that is self destructive and that can stem from lies. I've met women in my family like this.

    I know that when I'm suicidal I won't be approaching a MH forum for help as they do not help me. Maybe a few people saying 'yeah i hear you' helps but deep down, I know my life does not matter to many people out there. It is sad, but it is true. I've been on this forum with very little posts and posted in the Suicide forum in the past and have had absolutely no replies for weeks until I started asking people to reply in my own thread.

    And I know loads of people are wrapped up in their own issues too which makes their genuine 'care' and 'concern', a bit of an impossibility if they are numb etc.

    I can relate to the pain and struggles that people go through. So I try and post something helpful if I feel it helps.

    Do I care if people kill themselves? Personally, I've accepted a lot of people are in hell and are dying and do eventually kill themselves.

    Do I care? No. It's a fact of life, people die. People are wounded. People are scarred and are dying. I nearly died because I had no help. If someone I knew and loved did die, of course I'd care. I'd care a whole lot.

    And there are things that cannot be fixed. There is horrific trauma, stemming from war, and abuse , there is hell that is far more complex than fixing a computer. People aren't machines. People aren't computers. People are far more complex than that.

    Death can be a solution, and it's a very valid one when everything is too much and there is no way out, especially when you're faced with the MH system and the society in which I live that are invalidators and don't want to look at any of the problems that are in it.

    Without the right people, around to help and to validate you, of course you're going to feel like dying. And censoring that desire to die can be more unhelpful than helpful. You are important and the desire for death, for an end, is stemming from a place that may need to be looked at, articulated and explored.

    Have you tried killing your problems rather than yourself? Asking questions can be one way of doing that.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 15, 2009
  4. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Well I've said this before on here, but what I tell other people here I also need to hear for myself. I see the poster as me, and so like the above posters said, I have compassion. I see myself, and I want to help :heart:
  5. Rosenrot

    Rosenrot Forum Buddy

    Why is suicide the solution? There's a way to fix problems in life, and when you're dead, you have an even bigger problem; you can't live.
  6. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    This is a good question actually. Why should we care whether or not people end thier lives? Well, I believe that we should show compassion to our fellow human beings, whether or not we know them in real life. Everyone here is a human being and has a story to tell. Also, I've noticed that nearly everyone here is a good person at heart and deserves to live and be happy. :smile:
  7. wastedmylife

    wastedmylife Well-Known Member

    no one really cares, we are all in this alone
  8. soliloquise

    soliloquise Well-Known Member

    not true.. lots on here are sincere in caring .
    as for the question: for me its empathy.. been there. sometimes still go there. and maybe can make a difference to just one person i guess
  9. lost43215

    lost43215 Well-Known Member

    I care whether a stranger dies or not because I know the type of pain they are going through and dont want them to go through that pain. I want them to live out their lives and do things in this world they may not imagined doing or doing something they've always wanted to do but cant. I know there's lots out there people would love to do but when your feeling depressed, you can't really think of anything else but the quickest way to solve your pain... in this case suicide. I personally think suicide is an option... but that it should be the absolute last option. I mean, it should take several years at least to think of every possible solution before you even consider suicide. We only think of suicide because it's the easiest and most known option we know...
  10. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Not everyone is capable of feeling empathy for others...
  11. soliloquise

    soliloquise Well-Known Member

    i know you dont like wasted but why keep diggiing at him, it isn't fair :(
  12. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    He enjoys digging at me solioquise, which isn't fair either. :sad:
  13. soliloquise

    soliloquise Well-Known Member

    i havent seen that but if its true then yea it is wrong too. but why continue it?
    i had to BEG a member on here to leave me the hell alone and it shouldnt be that way, there are lots of young kids on here. us older people shouldn't act childish imo. i think if people do not get on they should ignore each other totally. it taints things here and causes stress. imo of course
  14. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    So now I'm old huh? :laugh:
  15. soliloquise

    soliloquise Well-Known Member

    compared to some on here yes.. we are dinasaurs lol
  16. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Lets all just leave the past in the past eh? :grouphug:
  17. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

  18. what i find interesting, are the members who post on every single post just to draw attention to themselves
    sweetheart does it in a nice way - she cares about people. that is definately not a problem.
    i wont name the negative ones (you know who you are) who appear to blatently disregard the rules because they get bored
  19. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Do you feel that I am one of those people glitter-princess? :unsure:
  20. darkrider

    darkrider Well-Known Member

    As much as I feel like an outcast, isolated and lonely, like everyone is more worthy of things than me, I can to some extent get my head round there's people that feel like me. I'll probably never meet any of you, but the thought that people like this are disappearing makes me feel more alone in the world.
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