WHY do you SI?

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by ThornThatNeverHeals, Mar 27, 2012.


Why do you SI?

  1. Because i HATE myself

    62 vote(s)
  2. Because i like the look and smell of the blood

    28 vote(s)
  3. Because i like the scars

    23 vote(s)
  4. Because id rather have physical pain than emotional pain

    61 vote(s)
  5. Because i want to cry out for others to see how much pain i am in

    15 vote(s)
  6. I honestly dont know why

    19 vote(s)
  7. I dont want to... i just cannot seem to stop anymore

    21 vote(s)
Multiple votes are allowed.
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  1. ThornThatNeverHeals

    ThornThatNeverHeals Well-Known Member

    tell us all WHY, sometimes its the best way to get people to understand a bit more... of course its mutiple choice to cick all that apply, and tell us why youo chose them please!
  2. Paul.

    Paul. Member

    Other: It makes me grin like a sadistic child.
  3. Puck

    Puck Active Member

    If I were to honestly tell you WHY.. I would be typing for the next 2 days
  4. meaningless-vessel

    meaningless-vessel Well-Known Member

    Too much emotion raging about internally - leaning to me hating myself and wanting a release from it all.
  5. Mr Stewart

    Mr Stewart Well-Known Member

    Coping mechanism. Often my mind will spin itself into repeating patterns of hopeless thinking or paranoia. I know what I am thinking is skewed, that I am not being rational, but I cannot stop it. By inflicting physical pain upon myself I can force my brain into focusing on one thing and one thing only, if only for a brief period of time.

    To be clear here, the purpose is not to inflict damage on myself, or leave scars. It is primarily to make my mind focus on acute stimulus that cannot be ignored for a short while.

    I'm not happy about it and I wish there was another way for me. I'm trying to rely on it less now. Perhaps CBT might help- my doc keeps going on and on about how I should agree to try it once my name comes up on the psych waiting list. Anyway. Please stay safe everyone.
  6. FrainBart

    FrainBart Staff Alumni

    One of the ones i ticked isn't exactly correct, but it was close.
    As in want others to see.. It's not for others but for myself to see the pain I am in. I guess It's all confused in my head , it is an addiction. Mist times I don't cut, but the times i do, it is a strange overwhelming sensation.
  7. prometheusunbound

    prometheusunbound New Member

    It's like a drug--it stops the downward thought spiral. It rinses my brain. It brings relief from overwhelming emotional pain.
  8. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    Pretty much because I hate myself and the way I'm feeling. People never understand me when I express myself, and when I do try to get help, they just disregard my feelings. I have to let the pain out somehow.
  9. scarlettdrknss

    scarlettdrknss Well-Known Member

    i had multiple reasons, sometimes only one would come up, sometimes multiple but it was rarely the same reason day after day.

    when i was still cutting daily, i had this idea that if i cut in the evening, the next day would be fine. i knew it was a crazy idea but it seemed to be working. as stupid as it sounded, it was all i had to hold on to so i believed it.

    there was a time where i felt addicted, i felt so bad that i would start shaking and couldn't find a way to calm down and sleep without cutting, it helped me fall asleep within minutes.

    then there were feelings like anger both at myelf and at the rest of the world or certain people. i couldn't show it out in public so i cut it into my arm. when i'm angry i need to destroy and the most important thing to destroy would be myself. anything else didn't matter.
    when i felt sad the cuts and scars were sometimes soothing, like i didn't feel alone anymore. they were also something that had to hide, just like i had to.
    or i felt sad and didn't want to cut but then told myself i didn't deserve anything better so i cut to convince myself it's what i have to do. it's like i had to prove to myself that i was sick in the mind.
    sometimes i felt empty inside and i desperatelty wanted to feel. cutting was the nearest option.
    other times cutting made me feel awesome, strong and powerful and it mde me smile and laugh, it was fun.
    some nights i cut because i had no reason to ( i like doing things without reason)
    sometimes i wanted to have a secret. when i feel exposed, when they know everything about me, i feel like i'm nothing, no one, so i cut to have a secret so i could feel like i existed.
    then there was the fact that i had the blade and the option that made me cut.

    and i also cut sometimes because i love scars and blood. ever since i was small, i was proud of every wound, every scar i had. i was always ashamed of this feeling at the same time so i never said it out loud because i didn't see anyone else loving scars, they all talked about how disgusting they were. but i loved them.
  10. letty

    letty Banned Member

    It was a feeling of being in control, and then other times I just had to, I have this real strong desire to feel pain on my body, mostly on my wrist.
  11. Bigman2232

    Bigman2232 Well-Known Member

    Hate at myself and anger, frustration with the world and what I experience in it.

    Also so I don't do it to someone else.
  12. ThornThatNeverHeals

    ThornThatNeverHeals Well-Known Member

    you manage to perfectly express almost all of my feelings... thanks so much.... its amazing
  13. SashaJade

    SashaJade Well-Known Member

    • Because i HATE myself
    • Because i like the look and smell of the blood
    • Because i like the scars
    • Because id rather have physical pain than emotional pain
    • Because i want to cry out for others to see how much pain i am in
  14. Butterfly

    Butterfly Sim Addict Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    Neither of the above really. Mainly for impulse control when things get bad, control in general and punishment.
  15. pogosticker

    pogosticker Well-Known Member

    None of the above, I guess...

    I tend to let my internal issues build and build, until it gets to the point where I can't handle it any more, and that's when I do it. In part it's a way to relieve stress. In part it's because I just don't have any other way of dealing with any of it, and I just impulsively do it. When I think about it, I'm not sure truly WHY I do it. I do it hard and fast, which I guess relates to the stress. I have to draw blood, and then there's a sense of calmness as I watch it drip down my skin and leave droplets in the sink. It's my way of handling (or NOT handling) the feelings that I let build up for too long. It just helps calm me down.
  16. pancake111

    pancake111 Well-Known Member

    I feel like I'm a little bit of all the choices, but I'm mostly not sure Why I started. Once I started, I liked the way the cuts looked on my arms.
  17. onefivesix

    onefivesix Member

    self-hatred mostly, mixed with a want to punish myself.
  18. aussiegal

    aussiegal Well-Known Member

    Gosh... I could check quite a few of these. Right at this moment I would love to self harm because I want to feel something and know that this pain in my head isn't just made up.
  19. coping mechanism and I am just extremely self destructive. self harm is cheaper than drugs and less noticeable (not anymore though) and i like seeing myself bleed. idek just a number of things.
  20. sadguy33

    sadguy33 Banned Member

    Its because I hate myself and if everyone else is going to hurt me I might as well hurt myself the most.
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