Why do you stay?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Christianv2, Mar 22, 2008.

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  1. Christianv2

    Christianv2 Well-Known Member

    Obviously, if we searched out and found this site, signed up and registered, and looking around and posting, We have atleast at times, Serious suicidal thoughts at point in our lives. So what I was curious, What keeps you from "leaving". I thought this would be a more positive discussion, maybe we can find why other people stay and that will help us want to stay as well. Maybe its because your afraid to go, it can be a negative reason as well just why dont you wanna leave at this moment. Not sure if this has been discussed before, if so, my bad.

    Well, why havent you "left"?
  2. x.R.x

    x.R.x Well-Known Member

    edited cos I misread the question :mellow: oops
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 22, 2008
  3. Lead Savior

    Lead Savior Well-Known Member

    Because there are people that care about me. I have a feeling, though, that this sinking feeling can get worse such that it outweighs my will to live for others. I guess that is when I will go.
  4. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    i stay because i know that depression lies.

    3 months ago i believed i was truly alone and a pathetic loser, always was, always would be. i thought i'd be doing everyone a favour by killing myself. i was scared and frightened and i did try to take my life.

    now i know more about the facts of depression. i know that it lies. i know that those beliefs about myself are part of the sickness, not some essential truth about me.... it's taken 3 months of hard work to learn this.

    so that's 'why' i do not leave. as for the 'how' ... therapy, walking, sleep, activity tracking, relaxation class, community support, great doctor, meds, meditation, education, reading, learning, forgiving myself, taking my days one step at a time, getting out of my head for a bit, opening up to my family and friends. those are the 'how' of staying alive

  5. touglytobeloved

    touglytobeloved Well-Known Member

    I didnt leave because its still not my time. i have decided that i will go, but I havent set a date yet. I really dont know what im waiting for. And its good sometimes to vent here, thats why i didnt left this site. I will probably be here untill I die.
  6. touglytobeloved

    touglytobeloved Well-Known Member

    And also, I dont think I will set a date or something. I dont plan anything in my life. I just leave the things to go as they want, and maybe, if a get an idea that I have to die at the moment, and if in that moment I have a chance to leave this world, ill do it. No planing, no setting a date, nothing.
  7. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I stay because I don't want to hurt my children. There are days that I am unsure if even that is enough.
  8. TheWr0ngChild

    TheWr0ngChild Well-Known Member

    I hold on to tiny threads of hope, I have given up hoping big now, I try to take my solace from the things that cannot be taken away from me, wether thats looking up into the night sky and seeing it filled with stars or hearing the sound of singing birds in the morning, I hold onto the last things, the things nobody can charge me for or steal from me. Yes, I am losing hope and faith even in them, but even if you can keep one tiny thread of hope alive, it beats the blackness without.
  9. Lost&Confused

    Lost&Confused Member

    I stay mostly because of fear of death and dying.

    But I guess there are other reasons, my family for one. Everyone is home for Easter and even though I feel sick at the thought that once the holidays are over my brothers will be back at Uni and my parents will be permanently moving abroad this summer, I'm glad we are all together right now.

    Although a lot of my day is filled with anxiety and dark thoughts, there are times when I feel more upbeat and maybe just playing with my guinea pig or chatting with my mum help more than I realise.

    Also pretty sad, but my favourite TV programme Lost doesn't finish till 2010 so I guess that should at least keep me going till then. :tongue:
  10. sarahmk2

    sarahmk2 Well-Known Member

    im staying until the 1st of october, that a final 6 months to have one more go at life. if its no better, the 1st is my check out date
  11. carol2237

    carol2237 Guest

    I am still here because of my family. They would not survive without me... literally. A few months ago i spent 3 days in the hospital, and when i got home i had to spend the next week cleaning up after them. They had dishes everywhere, toys in everyroom, had not taken the dogs out at all, it was a mess. My mother does not even know how to do laundry for goodness sakes. I am here for them. I suppose after i go off to college i will end things as i will not be around to be their little maid.
  12. tarzan

    tarzan Member

    because i discovered the meaning of life! :D
  13. Christianv2

    Christianv2 Well-Known Member

    I feel the same way. I tried hard to find a way to go somewhere for Spring Break or to atleast stay at my dorm, but they make us go home so its retarded. The whole time there I was picking things up after my parents mess. I mean, they dont watch kids or anything, they cant pick up after themselves? I am dreading the summer because I just feel so depressed there. Im gonna try and stay at school for the summer, Im trying to take summer courses just so I can stay here.
  14. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    I came here to help people going through a difficult time. I stay because I've met some really nice people here and I don't want them to give up on themselves. I hope that I've been able to help some people during the time I was here and I'll continue doing so during my spare time. :smile:
  15. -Deception-

    -Deception- Well-Known Member

    I stay because I'm afraid of going to hell and I don't want to hurt my family and friends since I know they would be devastated to learn that I committed suicide.
  16. downnout

    downnout Well-Known Member

    because i've gotten a lot of input and help here when i was in a really bad state, and i want to return the favor as best i can.
  17. Believe

    Believe Well-Known Member

    I stay because of the fear of the unknown. I consider myself a Christian, and I know I should believe unwaveringly in Heaven, but there are times I'm just scared that all there is after this life is a gaping void - that every piece of my consciousness disappears when my physical body dies, and I can't handle that. If I knew that Heaven existed, for sure, I'd be on the next train out - but let's face it, who wouldn't be?

    That said, sometimes I feel like I'm here for a reason I haven't figured out yet, that I have some sort of mission in life to help someone else. Maybe I want to see if my pathetic life can right itself and finally see my dreams realized... maybe I just love my niece too much not to want to see how she turns out when she grows up.

    Whatever it is, I'm here... for now. Until something happens that causes me to forget all I've just said.
  18. Random

    Random Well-Known Member

    Biggest reason is that I really just don't want to. I figure most suicidal people are in the same boat as myself. My suicidal thoughts are just a manifestation of my frustration. I don't have many choices and suicide is one of them so I'm obviously going to think about it from time to time.

    But if I really wanted to "go" I would have long ago. I'm not the kind of person who sits around just thinking about something I really want to do. Death isn't an appealing thought to me. Basically it's just this inner struggle. Life is the ultimate deathtrap. When you really think about it, suicide really isn't a viable option. Life has me and I suppose it'll be keeping me.
  19. mike308

    mike308 Well-Known Member

    "why do you stay"???
    Alive you mean??? I don't know??? I was surfing and feeling very blue.
    must be the time of year or the gun in my hand,,,,sorry,,,,,
    It's like walking on the edge of a knife blade. Or the sharpe edge of a moutain cliff.
    a single misstep and you are " meeting ertinerty" sorry for the bad spelling.
    I wish I was dead, but it's hard to do it.
    We all die, it's just a matter of now or then.
    Please don't ban me
  20. sosotired

    sosotired Well-Known Member

    I really dont know the answer to this, I guess its because I distract myself with video games, internet, movies etc. but I have no life to speak of. :unsure:
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