John Q. Player: I am suicidal because I am torn between two females. Actually, make that three. Picking between three girls who are all interested in me is the biggest dilemma I have ever faced. It's tearing me apart and I can't take it anymore. Suicide Forum Members: Hang in there. You must be a really lucky guy, and incredibly worthwhile, to attract so many females. Mike Murderer: I am suicidal because I just killed seven people, robbed three banks, raped a few women, set a few houses on fire, and detonated a bomb in a crowded area. Suicidal Forum Members: You must have a really hard life and I hope you will be able to turn it around. Good luck and God bless you! Me: I am suicidal because I was born into a broken home, abused throughout my entire childhood, never had any friends (and still don't), never had a girl interested me, and never have had a shoulder to lean on. Suicidal Forum Members: Quit wallowing in your own self-pity because you have only yourself to blame for your problems in life. And if you dare respond to me in a negative manner, everyone will gang up on you because nobody has, or will, ever liked you.