Today I actually woke up having slept for 5 hours and was looking forward to packing up my car and going camping for a few days to avoid my Birthday tomorrow. I duly packed up the car only to receive a call from the campsite ten minutes later to say the site had flooded and was experiencing torrential rain and they would not recommend coming. This was devastating as it's taken a lot of effort to get up and face life recently and this was the first day I have felt positive about something for months. I have since researched the internet for a dry place in the UK and would have to drive at least 3 hours which is impossible for me as I have the concentration span of a goldfish at the minute. I'm so pissed off that this now means I'll wake up looking at the same four walls and feel the pain when the postie delivers his usual array of bills and final demands, and not one birthday card. When did life pass me by, I seem to always lose friends, am I really that much of an awful person? So back to reality and a day of sitting watching mindless TV, which is not too bad cos if you asked me at the end of the day I wouldn't remember what I'd watched anyway! I so much wish today was my date but I'm not quite ready and have some things to do first. I just hope I don't go and get pissed and end up doing it all wrong!