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why does everything we love have to go?

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from the start, i watch my nian(grandmother) die infront of me at the age of 11, then my big brother decided to kill himself when i was 19 then my mother died of cancer when i became 27 and the girl who i loved for 10 years left me at the age of 28, o and inbetween 27 and 28 i lost my tiad(grandfather) to the dreaded cancer. so all in all not bad going really! But at the time my brother killed himself he was in hospital and had told us all for a good year he was going to do it, which did i have to admit make me bit angry.the last time i saw him he seemed the happyest i had seen him in years, i even said to my girlfriend how i was so shore he was going to make it now, then 3 days later police round the door with the dreaded news.its only the last year that i really know how he was feeling!


SF & Antiquitie's Friend
Staff Alumni
Hello Panic & welcome to Sf, I am sorry you have had so much pain and loss in your life especially the death of your brother by suicide.
I take it from what you have said that you have been feeling depressed and or suicidal for a year now, have you had any professional help during that time?
Do you have any family or friends to support you? I see your girlfriend is no longer with you, was she supportive of you during your relationship?
Sorry for all the questions, I hope you will find support and understanding here at Sf.

Take Care Hazel x


Staff Alumni
Hi Pannic,

Welcome to the forum.. I'm glad that you found us and posted here. Did it help at all?

Sounds like you've been through a lot in your life, and i'm so sorry to hear about your losses. Are you receiving any help and support for your emotions? It's understandable that you'd be feeling depressed and angry.. maybe a therapist could help with those feelings?

Of course, you can write here anytime also.. in the meantime please do take care of yourself

Jenny x
You should really considerate pro help.
Don't go do anything stupid, keep focusing forward in your life.
Carry on, you are not alone out there.

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