Why is it that every time I think, I think too much, I lay awake all night thinking. Thinking just about the past, about the present, about what could be. Thinking about the world, about humanity, about life. About the solutions to my problems. About the solutions to everyone elses problems. I always come to one conclusion.... It seems every thought I have comes full circle down this dark path. Like if I think about flowers, I eventualy find myself thinking about suicide because the world we live in is not full enough of just peacefull places you could sit and think about flowers alone and in peace. - But its far worse, you are stuck at work, you can't leave really. Even if you did, were are you going to go? Down the block... Were there is more urban sprawl? To the city park... were 50 other people will stare at you with your head in your hands?... I don't know... Then even if you did leave your pointless life of a job, and found a nice peacefull place were you could just "rest in peice" ... technicaly you would still have to go back to your job... so it leads to the wanting to rest in peace forever syndrome... But I guess I would still feel the same way even without a job or need for one, my life would still be pretty pointless and I would still be looking to rest eternally in peace. Why do I always think about suicide in the end...? I guess I am just old, alone, tired, and done, and board with waiting for the end to come naturaly. Not that im technicly old, only 25... but that doesn't matter, the mind ages apart from the body.