Why does it have to be so fuckin hard?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by ace, Jun 12, 2007.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    I want a way out so badly so why does it have to bo so fuckin hard?Why for fuck sake why,Why,Why?Fuck I can't handle this shit anymore!!!!:mad::mad::mad::mad:
     
  2. KyleKW

    KyleKW Well-Known Member

    Hey... I hear ya... You just posted so apparently we're both sitting at our computers feeling about the same... We gotta keep fighting, no.

    What is hitting you so bad today, right now? Keep typing Ace... you're still hanging in there if you can just do that.
     
  3. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    Kyle I hate life so badly everything about it,tired to death of the depression and everything else I hate living and everything about it.I just hate being in this fuckin world I'm tired of it enough!!!:sad::mad::mad:
     
  4. TheBLA

    TheBLA Well-Known Member

    Yes, you'd think suicide, killing yourself would be easy but it really isn't, your mind is still fighting against it and so will your body if you try overdosing for example.
     
  5. -Deception-

    -Deception- Well-Known Member

    Well, Arthur Schopenhauer once said: "There is no doubt that life is given us, not to be enjoyed, but to be overcome; to be got over." Interpret it in whatever way you like. It might provide you with some strength. And it might make you even more depressed. To overcome life can can be done by enduring it or by ending it. There's no right or wrong when it comes to dealing with your life: it's given to you and only you can decide whether you will go on living or die right now.
     
  6. life

    life Well-Known Member

    Life is hard thats why
     
  7. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    I do agree with that,hence why for me personally I want to die and that should be a decision that should be respected.I'm sorry for me to die is what I need,I don't want to go on I don't care.
     
  8. -Deception-

    -Deception- Well-Known Member

    I understand completely. And I respect whatever conclusion you reach. I think all of us on this forum do. Everyone on this forum are after all united by a lowest common denominator: our more or less suicidal thought patterns. Everyone here shares an understanding for how strong the urge to die can be - it's just that we know what this world stands for - what it means. We can't say the same about the "other side". Besides, if you leave us and go someplace where we can't follow you, we are stuck here alone. That's why people try to get you to stay.
     
  9. hey :hug:

    I don't want to sound full of life when you feel like this :shy: but.... and I don't know if it helps... I felt like this in the past... I thought depression would never go away, that I didn't want to go on, and that my past circumstances would always haunt me and make life not worth living. All i wanted was to die and could not agree with anyone who suggested things might change. With the help of certain people - I made it - I am so happy I did. Life is better now and I can enjoy it...

    It IS possible to come outta the other side of this hun :hug: let people support you and be there for you. Don't worry about offering a shoulder to other people until you are feeling better yourself - put yourself 1st :hug: I am here if you ever need a person to talk to. Wait for the sunshine - it usually arrives in the end :hug:

    xx
     
  10. KyleKW

    KyleKW Well-Known Member

    Ace - Nobody can tell you that you should feel better or promise it'll all work out. But, hey, look how quickly a lot of people replied to your post. Take some stock in that, if possible, time is precious and people are giving you some of their time and attention. You have a right to hate life and be angry about depression, but I strongly feel like if you can type those words than there is a survival instinct in you trying to come out.

    You and I both (many on SF am sure) want things right now that we cannot have, not right now... But we can work and probably build and grow into them. The changes happen so gradual and subtle that you won't hardly notice them.

    If you really REALLY do hate the world, feel as though you have no purpose or goals or things you could ever want to have, no chance for anything good, and want out then...
     
  11. KyleKW

    KyleKW Well-Known Member

    ... but you could very possibly be one of us that rebounds, is stronger and better because of it, and hell maybe even turns around and later helps people that are where you are right now.

    Ace - Things are telling you to end it, give up, and whatever else. I call those "demons" in life. The more you allow them to bother you the more they'll influence you, seriously.

    Life has been incredibly cruel to me at times... I've been dealt way more hits than my share, for whatever reasons it's stupid to wonder, and my life probably has less than 1% of anything I expected, wanted, and worked so hard and hoped for. Okay, some of those things probably won't happen, at least like I thought, but I am here NOW and there must be a reason for that.... Maybe, just maybe, there is a purpose to all this SHIT, that my life (and yours) has a purpose we have no idea of.

    It's so much easier to whine, cry, and fall apart than to pull ourselves together, rebuild, grow and be strong... the latter is so much more important and valuable.

    Forget that there are kids starving... someone that just lost their spouse to an accident or disease... someone that just had a horrible accident... someone that is probably far worse off than us (hard as it is to imagine)... forget that one of us (the suicidal) just lost their fight... all while I've typed this...

    I want to climb onto the roof right now and dive off... Being a MAN I'd refuse to shut my eyes so... As I dive I'd see a blue sky, people riding bikes on the path, cars going by with other people living their lives, flowers, a cool Jeep maybe, people in awe over what they're seeing... then CONCRETE. In the midst of my worse feelings, right now, I know that I deserve better than that even if I don't know why.

    Please, ACE, have some 'blind faith' that you're here for a reason, fight against the odds.

    Each minute that goes by is in the past, cannot be undone, but the minutes approaching quickly we might have some control over.
     
  12. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    I follow what you're saying Kyle and the pain is all too much for so many year's of going through this shit you end up not being able to help it that there is no better life out there.:sad:
     
  13. mag

    mag Member

    Hi, ace ,man i've been their!!! so much in the darkness (the zone I called it)that even pictures of my wife and kids couldn't help!!! all I could think of is ending the pain!!but, it's temporary, death is forever!!! I realized that when you're that low there is no were else to go than up.
    First, if you have not seen a doc go a.s.a.p!! Move, movement of the muscle is stronger then the defeatism of the brain,so move and get those dorfs going ,that can help you feel better and it will get better,It will get better, It will get better,It will get better,It will get better and yes, it will get better!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:biggrin: There's two basic emotions joy and fear, find what that fear is, because for most that's what depression is,fear,fear of something.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 13, 2007
  14. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    I know what you mean,it's just so hard constantly feeling so desperate and depressed:sad,I saw my Psychologist and Psychiatrist yesterday my Psychiatrist is more understand toward's my problem's than my Psychologist with all due respect to my Therapist.

    The problem is I can't see anything really worthwhile to go on for,as silly as that may sound.I'm constantly angry about thing's,struggling badly with my problem's of Ocd and Bdd and the thought of death gives me that much comfort.
     
  15. mag

    mag Member

    Well, you know,not to get to philosophical on you, but( oh,there's that "BUT")I have learn to look out of the box,to look at the world like I'm watching a play,
    (a somwhat predicable one at that).I realize that things are not going to be good at all times,that life is going to suck at times ,except it, and transcend it, but the play always moves to the next scene. I have learn how to meditate to(I know,I know:rolleyes:) twice a day for 20 minutes and I go to another place, like a vacation,an man, after you get the hang of it ,it's great,your personality will change!!!!!:cool:I have also found pantheism that has realy filled my spirtual needs(World Pantheism Movement)google it and check it out.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 16, 2007
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.