Why does it hurt?

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Alynna, Oct 21, 2014.

  1. Alynna

    Alynna Member

    Maybe because I distrust him.
    Maybe I just lack confidence.
    Am I lying to myself?
    Or is it intuition?

    Why is it that every time he says he loves me, hugs and kisses me, and texts me sweet things, it breaks my heart?

    It's like he just says what he thinks I want to hear. Like he's around just enough so that I won't disappear.

    He's a wonderful person in person - affectionate, loving, and treats me well.
    He's terrible at long distance affection - like I hardly exist.

    Thing is, he's usually pretty upfront when he tells me how he feels (If he does) and he's very straight forward. He says things the way they are. When I'm being pessimistic, he's the first to be optimistic. When I'm optimistic, he's pessimistic.
     
  2. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    Really tough to know what is going on based on this while you are perfectly clear in what you are saying. I am not going to make any guesses at why you feel bad about these things, but wanted to say I am sorry you feel like that and I hope you find a way to make your relationship happier. Have you spoke to him about it?
     
  3. Alynna

    Alynna Member

    I'm not really sure how I would explain the situation well. I guess it's just like he doesn't really know what he wants and I'm well aware of it so I kind of question how he really feels about me. Like when he tells me he loves me, I think he's lying and I'd rather be told otherwise or not at all than be lied to?
    (Yes, I do have trust issues due to my past)

    I have tried talking to him about it but I guess he gets defensive whenever I try to say how I feel. Either it's because he feels he's not good enough for me and he feels vulnerable so he lashes out, or because he really believes I deserve better. Am I just defending him?

    (I know he can be a bit manipulative on occasion but he doesn't really mean to because I've been on his side of things. Like: Sometimes we just feel so bad about ourselves that we feel we can't make someone happy and would rather the person leave us so they can find someone they can be happier with. We give up. But whenever we try to, they keep coming back no matter how much we push them away.)