Why does suicide have to be so painful

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by wastedmylife, Dec 7, 2008.

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  1. wastedmylife

    wastedmylife Well-Known Member

    I am exploring ways to kill myself and I think <methods ......>

    God fucking damn it why does suicide have to be so painful, who the hell is going to slit their fucking throat in order to die, I dont see myself shooting myself and I cant think of any other way to die

    Mother fucker what did I do to my life, a year ago or 7 months ago I had the chance to be the happiest smartest person on the planet and now I am left here in a world of dog shit, pure absolute dog shit, I am about to turn 29 years old and for all intents and purposes my life is basically over, what the fuck am I gonna do with my life and what did I do to my life

    And yet the wall of anger is still there about people who helped me get to the shape I am in, why should I let them win, I am essentially dead and death seems to be my only solution, what do I do with this anger at this point?
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 7, 2008
  2. LostSpirit

    LostSpirit Well-Known Member

    Hi..... i agree any suicide is painful... so how anyone can say its selfish is beyond me..

    A year ago.. my life was also so much better.. its only looking back now i can actually see that

    i dont think you want to end it all. you just want to be happy again, like most of us do on here.... that can only happen if you start taking the step in the right direction!

    please go to your GP otherwise this feeling will just get worse

    stay safe my friend

  3. Oak

    Oak Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Dear, you can always get back your life on track. Would you care to share what events brought you to feel so low about yourself and life in general?

    As suggested, perhaps it is time to talk things over with someone that can understand and help you. Either you start with your gp or a therapist if you can.

    stay safe and be well dear
  4. wastedmylife

    wastedmylife Well-Known Member

    oh trust me I will never be happy again, my problems go beyond mental at this point, I am a shell of the person I was and a shell of the preson I never got a chance to be
  5. wastedmylife

    wastedmylife Well-Known Member

    basically some physical problems including the loss of my manhood if you get my drift
  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi wastedmylife,

    I know how you feel. When your feeling really desperate and are looking for a way out, every method seems like hell, prolonging the pain.

    That's why I look for methods of coping instead :) I hope you can find a way to ease the pain you are feeling :hug:
  7. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Hi wastedmylife. I think you really need to release all that built up anger productively, like going to a gym and beating up a punching bag for example. It's not healthy to keep all that rage inside. I know you want revenge on the people that have contributed to your current state, but what will that really solve? All suicide methods are painful, to varying degrees, because we're programmed to live long lives. Taking our lives goes against every living cell in our body. Why not focus on getting better?
  8. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    You can't have a happy life because you won't allow yourself to. I have read your posts and they all have the same theme. It seems you spend all your time finding the reasons why you should be miserable instead of looking for reasons not to be. We can convince ourselves that we shouldn't be happy and therefore we aren't. I hope you can turn the thoughts around. :hug:
  9. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I agree with Gentlelady. She has hit the nail on the head. I too have physical problems but I don't let that part of my life influence how I feel about myself. I don't need to because I have enough problems phsycologically. I could be way down deep in my depression like I have been for fouteen years. My therapist has helped in some ways to make me start feeling again. My problem is I won't let go of my negative thoughts. She is always correcting me when I talk. When I use words like: Should have, could have, can't, I don't know, right or wrong, and several others. She says they are all negatives and that I need to change them to positives like I'll say I feel this way and she will say no, I think there for I feel. You have to have a concouis thought in order to feel. Half the time I can't put my finger on the thought so she gets frustrated with me. Please Take Care!!~Joseph~
  10. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. You could be choosing to be gone forever and things could change for the better for you.

    I don't want you to miss out on that chance. I hope things work out for you.
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