Why does this happen so often?
- Thread starter Witty_Sarcasm
- Start date
No, honestly, when most people seem to look at me and see some punk that works for the Albanian mafia or something, it's a welcome change.
I guess it's just because i'm kind of a big guy with a face hardened by a painful life, but i spend a lot of time wondering that question myself tbh. I've even been in relationships where people were scared to touch me, before they realised i'm actually just a big cuddly teddy bear (without meaning to get too detailed or personal
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I'm 6 foot, 190 pounds, rough facial hair, usually seen in a beanie, hoodie, and jeans or cargo pants. Guess that's a dangerous look or something?
I guess it's just because i'm kind of a big guy with a face hardened by a painful life, but i spend a lot of time wondering that question myself tbh. I've even been in relationships where people were scared to touch me, before they realised i'm actually just a big cuddly teddy bear (without meaning to get too detailed or personal
)I'm 6 foot, 190 pounds, rough facial hair, usually seen in a beanie, hoodie, and jeans or cargo pants. Guess that's a dangerous look or something?
Ok, that doesn't sound scary. it sounds attractive. 
Anyway, I get the feeling that you are that cuddly teddy bear, and this is why people should get to know one another before they make snap judgments. You've been kind to me since you first got here, even when I was being a stubborn asshat who was unwilling to listen to reason, so that means more than you could know. So for that, I can only see you as a good person, not scary at all.
Anyway, I get the feeling that you are that cuddly teddy bear, and this is why people should get to know one another before they make snap judgments. You've been kind to me since you first got here, even when I was being a stubborn asshat who was unwilling to listen to reason, so that means more than you could know. So for that, I can only see you as a good person, not scary at all.
Yeah, most people I feel are close minded though, or scared of what they are not used to. It takes a rare kind of person to look beyond everything else and see someone for who they truly are. Like me being negative, I think it takes a special type of person to look past all that and see the person I really am. Some are just afraid to look deeper than the surface, but there can be so many great things underneath.
Like how I am with a lot of people, though I don't mean to be. I have a special connection with someone and even told them that I like them more than the universe and to infinity and...I don't remember it all, I'm just really cheesy like that. But I feel like I might have ruined that in a way based on how I act. It's something I don't want to lose, and maybe subconsciously I do try to push people away because I feel like I don't deserve to be cared for. I'm starting to realize that I do, and trying to accept that people care, and to not reject it.
I completely understand. It's scary to have such a close connection to such a rare type of person. It can make me worry constantly about losing that person, but then that can trigger an urge like wanting to end your life from fear of others doing it, that sense that you'd rather it fell apart because you chose to make it happen. It's a difficult behaviour to curb, but even just recognising it is a big step, and you should feel proud for having done that. The first step in resolving any problem is acknowledging that you have it.
I felt like...euphoric when I first started talking to him. And it's still like that, obviously not as strong but that does seem to lessen with time. Yeah I feel like that sometimes too, and I'm trying to refrain from hurting myself because I think that would hurt others. So I need to focus on getting better instead of giving up.
I know what you mean. I met this guy recently, the first guy i've asked out in two years. He hasn't displayed the slightest bit of fear with me, but he's so nice, even when hanging out with me and my friend whose favourite pastime is to incessantly mock me. This guy is actually nice, and stands up for me to him. He doesn't realise it, but i actually really appreciate him doing that. Every time i manage to make him laugh, i'm silently celebrating in my head. I told a joke that had him in tears the other week, and every moment of it made me feel so happy. It can be really exciting and really nerve-wracking at the same time. And part of me really wants to sabotage it now, rather than let it be ruined later. But i acknowledge i need to fight that instinct, because it isn't healthy. We can struggle through it together.
Well, that friend that mocks you doesn't sound like much of a friend. Does he make mean jokes, or is it more of playful teasing? Because sometimes people joke around with me in a fun way, and I have to remember that and bring the joke back their way instead of getting upset. But from the way you describe it, it just sounds like that friend is being mean. I'm glad he stands up for you, that's always nice, especially if you have trouble with being assertive. Not sure if you do, but I know I do. I'm glad things are going so well and he sounds like a great person to have in your life. I'll make sure you don't give up on him, and you can keep me in check and make sure I don't do anything stupid. :P
It is all pretty good-natured joking. He calls me an idiot for not understanding a certain topic, or says i'm old because i'm 5 years older than he is (i know, such a difference:rolleyes, and i laugh at him for not knowing much media beyond Disney movies, or never drinking/partying. It's all meant in good fun, but it's still kind of nice to have someone else in my corner, because despite the intention, it can get a little abusive on his part. He does it to motivate me into working though tbf, because he knows it gets me to work harder sometimes, to prove him wrong.
And deal, sounds like a good plan
, and i laugh at him for not knowing much media beyond Disney movies, or never drinking/partying. It's all meant in good fun, but it's still kind of nice to have someone else in my corner, because despite the intention, it can get a little abusive on his part. He does it to motivate me into working though tbf, because he knows it gets me to work harder sometimes, to prove him wrong.And deal, sounds like a good plan
Yeah, sometimes it can get annoying and get under your skin. Even if it is in jest, when someone points out things often enough, it can become grating. I'm glad that he motivates you to work harder, and I know it's hard to accept that someone likes you for who you are, but that just means you are a good person and deserve it all.
Hey, @Cynic Goat I said the day that you got here that you sound SO MUCH like my son and again... you sound so much like my son. Like, I read your posts very carefully in the beginning to make sure you didn't have anything to say like him just in case you were him. Seriously. Even your user name is something he would choose as his nickname is the "goat" (because he eats everything). My kid is also over 6 feet and 200 lbs, wears cargo pants with the chains on them like he's trapped in Hot Topic 90's and band shirts / black and has a scruffy beard thing going etc. I don't know if people are scared of the kid but damn, he's about as unthreatening as a human can possibly be. Sounds like you are as well. You sound like a good friend and a nice guy who is just looking for the same things we are all. Not to assume anything but your post above sounds as though you are gay - is that the case?