why does this have to hurt?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by shellz, Jan 27, 2007.

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  1. shellz

    shellz Guest

    Why? What have I ever done to deserve this shit? I try to be the "good" child, but its not good enough. Nothing is ever good enough for people. Nothing! No matter what I do, its not good enough.

    My fucking therapist wants to see my scars and cuts to see just how serious I am.. WTF?!?!? What do I have to do? Kill myself just so they believe me?!?

    Fuck it! Im not worth it. Im giving up!
  2. shellz

    shellz Guest

    argh!! I knew it!
  3. FerraraFunBunny

    FerraraFunBunny New Member

    I knew what?

    If you're looking for people to care, then surprisingly enough they do. Just generally they are so wrapped up in their own troubles that they forget about other peoples.

    Having someone to talk to is important. Please try and approach someone who you think & believe can help you. If you can't find one of those, take a chance on someone who may feel the same way. You'd be surprised about how many have once felt the way you do.
  4. shellz

    shellz Guest

    well i guess nobody cares...so im gonna go thru with it...
  5. Earn

    Earn Well-Known Member

    please dont go threw with it.you can make it threw this.im here 4u now.u only got a lil longer to go
  6. shellz

    shellz Guest

    a little longer huh? well it seems like a lifetime away now..

    it doesnt matter anymore..i dont matter anymore..nothing about me matters anymore..
  7. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member

    just so you know know i do care, granted im quiet half the time and i barely speak I do care. If you need to talk you can msn me, or aim me. im always around as i have no life and im more than willing to sit and talk to you. stay safe, and im here.

  8. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    You have shown that to many of us already Kelly. I know you are a very caring person and will be there should I need someone to talk with. Thank you for reminding us though. :hug:
  9. ealdc

    ealdc Guest

    I also care. I would have responded right away if i was online.

    I know what you mean when you say
    It took a LLONNNGGG time for my family to take me seriously. I had to quit school and start seeing a therapist before they believed me. My friends still don't.

    PM me if you like.
  10. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    shellz, I hope you are okay this morning. I want you to know that I do care for you along with all the many others here at SF. Your therapist wanting to see the scars and cuts is not so unusual. They do use them to gauge how bad they think you are from week to week. Mine does the same thing. I am sorry I didn't answer you right away as well. I used the iSpy and read WLB's post and responded to it not realizing hers was a response to your thread. I must be more careful in the future. I owe you an apology. Please hang in there hun. Someone will take you seriously. Maybe they already do, but are not sure how to react. You are in therapy, so that is a start. You need to work on your relationship with you first hun. When you have the confidence you need in that regard, what others think won't matter so much. Remember we do care shellz. Lots and lots. :hug:
  11. shellz

    shellz Guest

    Why do I have to hurt so much though? Why cant I have fun like I used to? Im 17 years old and I am so miserable that I dont know why I keep going. I spent the night cutting last night because I didnt think anybody cared. I had one person talking to me, but he was cutting himself.

    I need to get this over with. I need to end this now.
  12. Right U R Ken

    Right U R Ken Well-Known Member

    No I wasn't. I talked to you last night. I did all I could to stop you from cutting. And you promised me you would try the red marker thing. I expect you to keep your promise.

    You can't say no one cares shellz. I care, and it makes me cry that you cut. Please stop.
  13. shellz

    shellz Guest

    My bad..I ment to say I was talking to two people last night..one that was cutting and the other that was trying to get me from stop cutting. Im sorry for the misunderstanding.

    I cant just stop on the dime from cutting. The red marker thing didnt work. I tried that after I logged off and it still didnt work. I cant stop something that I am so used to. Im sorry that it upsets you..i just dont know what else I can do.
  14. Right U R Ken

    Right U R Ken Well-Known Member

    How about the next time you feel like cutting I'll let you cut me instead of yourself. Will that help?
  15. theleastofthese

    theleastofthese SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I'm sorry you feel so badly that you feel you have to cut to relieve the inner pain. I can't make it go away but I can send you lots of hugs and understanding, if that will help any.:hug: :hug: :flowers: :hug:


  16. shellz

    shellz Guest

    Ken-I could never cause harm to somebody else while in my right mind. NEVER! When I do it to me, its like Im punishing myself for problems that I dont cause. I dont know how else to deal with these strong ass urges. I have tried other coping skills but its not satisfying enough. I dont know..i guess im just failing all over again..
  17. Right U R Ken

    Right U R Ken Well-Known Member

    Do you think you're in your right mind when you cut yourself? Of course you're not.

    And a coping skill? No, cutting is a coping failure.

    So you wouldn't want to cut me instead of yourself because it would hurt me? When you cut yourself it hurts me more. No kidding. I could take a physical cut. But I can't take what you're doing to yourself. It hurts the most.
  18. shellz

    shellz Guest

    Im sorry..I really am :cry:
  19. deep

    deep Well-Known Member

    There are so many people out there who think the same as you that no one cares but there are people on this site that do and want to listen and help if possible and if you let them in.
  20. stephananio

    stephananio New Member

    hi, i'm new, i dint realise you all know eachother, i'm just here to help and find a reason, at least if im helping other people im kinda taking the advice myself. im different to you, noone knows i attempted suicide. i hate the idea of people judging me the way they seem to have judged you, also im not getting seen by a psych, it seems thye forgot about me when i was discharged from hospital. just know there are lots of people out there who understand, you dont have to prove anything to us, we understand your pain, hope you feel strionger, know there are poeple listening Steph x x x x
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