Why Does This Make Me Feel Worse?

Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by ~Nobody~, May 14, 2007.

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  1. ~Nobody~

    ~Nobody~ Well-Known Member

    I have had a difficult night :sad: and no sleep...

    Last night (or, technically, this morning :dry:) I ended up telling my boyfriend more than I had before about exactly what happened to me. He doesn't know even nearly everything and he doesn't know detail, but he does know about the 'worst' thing now.

    But, he told me it was rape. And... I said it wasn't. But, it is. He did a very quick search and proved that legally, it is. I don't want to have been raped. I didn't think that counted :cry:. (The legal guidelines are here (UK).)

    I'm a mess right now anyway just through dragging stuff up and having to think about it. But this is... a big deal to me. I hate him :cry:. It makes me more angry to know I've been raped and I can't do a fucking thing about it.

    What can I do to feel better about this? Why does labelling it rape make me feel worse? - It's only a word... And why the fuck didn't I know that it was, anyway? - I should have known.

    I don't know. Any response is appreciated.

    :hug:
     
  2. RainbowChaser

    RainbowChaser Well-Known Member

    :hug:

    If it helps, I shouldn't have read it either, but for different reasons :sad:
     
  3. ~Nobody~

    ~Nobody~ Well-Known Member

    Sorry :hug: Hope you're okay, didn't mean to trigger anyone. x
     
  4. RainbowChaser

    RainbowChaser Well-Known Member

    :hug:

    It didn't trigger me that badly, but it did point out a few things to me that I could do without thinking about today. I don't want to be thinking about the whole bit of whether "A (him) does not reasonably believe that B (me) consents" while I'm at an interview. I know that he knows now, but whether he did at the time is a different matter :sad:

    Tho if it does count n that score, I got an 'upgrade' on what I thought had happened too, and it makes it sound truely disgusting. And I thought it was bad enough :sad:

    I don't know why it's worse either. It's not like I'm ever going to call it that when talking to people or anything, it's hard enough getting taken seriously when saying "sexual assualt" :dry: So why it should affect me is beyond me.
     
  5. ~Nobody~

    ~Nobody~ Well-Known Member

    :hug:

    Good luck with the interview. x
     
  6. ~Nobody~

    ~Nobody~ Well-Known Member

    The more I think about this the worse I feel.

    I think I am going to be sick.

    Today is a bad day.
     
  7. ~Nobody~

    ~Nobody~ Well-Known Member

    Help? :cry:
     
  8. Sa Palomera

    Sa Palomera Well-Known Member

    :hug: :hug: :hug: :sad:
     
  9. ~Nobody~

    ~Nobody~ Well-Known Member

    :hug: :hug:

    :blub:
     
  10. kindtosnails

    kindtosnails Staff Alumni

    :arms: Here if you need me. :hug:
     
  11. ~Nobody~

    ~Nobody~ Well-Known Member

    Aww Miss Tickle... Thank you :hug:.

    Sorry I didn't have that super dooper fab day. :sad: x
     
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