I have had a difficult night :sad: and no sleep...
Last night (or, technically, this morning :dry I ended up telling my boyfriend more than I had before about exactly what happened to me. He doesn't know even nearly everything and he doesn't know detail, but he does know about the 'worst' thing now.
But, he told me it was rape. And... I said it wasn't. But, it is. He did a very quick search and proved that legally, it is. I don't want to have been raped. I didn't think that counted :cry:. (The legal guidelines are here (UK).)
I'm a mess right now anyway just through dragging stuff up and having to think about it. But this is... a big deal to me. I hate him :cry:. It makes me more angry to know I've been raped and I can't do a fucking thing about it.
What can I do to feel better about this? Why does labelling it rape make me feel worse? - It's only a word... And why the fuck didn't I know that it was, anyway? - I should have known.
I don't know. Any response is appreciated.
:hug:
Last night (or, technically, this morning :dry I ended up telling my boyfriend more than I had before about exactly what happened to me. He doesn't know even nearly everything and he doesn't know detail, but he does know about the 'worst' thing now.
But, he told me it was rape. And... I said it wasn't. But, it is. He did a very quick search and proved that legally, it is. I don't want to have been raped. I didn't think that counted :cry:. (The legal guidelines are here (UK).)
I'm a mess right now anyway just through dragging stuff up and having to think about it. But this is... a big deal to me. I hate him :cry:. It makes me more angry to know I've been raped and I can't do a fucking thing about it.
What can I do to feel better about this? Why does labelling it rape make me feel worse? - It's only a word... And why the fuck didn't I know that it was, anyway? - I should have known.
I don't know. Any response is appreciated.
:hug: