I cant stand my life. It scares me. People scare me. When I'm in this mood I want to hide. I'm so afraid to go to shcool tmrw and have to pretend to be ice to everyone. Because if someone asks me what wrong I'll just tell them. I want to kill myself, that's what's wrong. I have this friend, my new bestfriend. And she was recently diagnosed with depression. I look at her life and I envy her so much. Not once has she touched a blade to her skin at all, she so spoiled, new car, cell phone, shopping all the time. I'm sorry you have to baby sit all the time and get stressed out, but you have no idea what depression is. It sickens me that I have these urges to hrut myself, and that I feel this pain from nowhere, and she gets all the help for nothing. I hate seeing her and hearing about her sad news, but I love her because shes my best friend. Why don't I get help? Why doesn't anyone ask me what's happening in my head? I have voices telling em to hurt myself. I switch moods so quickly that you'd think I was faking it. I can't sit still in my skin for more then five minuets sometimes, and others I just want to cry. Why doesnt anyone care that I have these problems? I think for once, I want someone to care about me. And fix my problems for a little bit. I'd like if someone gave ME anti-depressants.