Why doesn't anyone care about me?

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by blazalaza, May 21, 2010.

  1. blazalaza

    blazalaza Member

    I cant stand my life. It scares me. People scare me. When I'm in this mood I want to hide. I'm so afraid to go to shcool tmrw and have to pretend to be ice to everyone. Because if someone asks me what wrong I'll just tell them. I want to kill myself, that's what's wrong.

    I have this friend, my new bestfriend. And she was recently diagnosed with depression. I look at her life and I envy her so much. Not once has she touched a blade to her skin at all, she so spoiled, new car, cell phone, shopping all the time. I'm sorry you have to baby sit all the time and get stressed out, but you have no idea what depression is.

    It sickens me that I have these urges to hrut myself, and that I feel this pain from nowhere, and she gets all the help for nothing. I hate seeing her and hearing about her sad news, but I love her because shes my best friend.

    Why don't I get help? Why doesn't anyone ask me what's happening in my head? I have voices telling em to hurt myself. I switch moods so quickly that you'd think I was faking it. I can't sit still in my skin for more then five minuets sometimes, and others I just want to cry.

    Why doesnt anyone care that I have these problems?

    I think for once, I want someone to care about me. And fix my problems for a little bit. I'd like if someone gave ME anti-depressants.
  2. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    I get what you're saying and everyone suffers differently with their depression...
    I think you need to see a doctor and tell him/her how you are feeling.....if you are thinking of suicide you need to get proffessional help ....counceling, psychologist, meds , whatever your doc thinks you need...
    you need to reach out to the right people and I hope you will also keep posting here.....
    take care
  3. alison

    alison Well-Known Member

    I don't think you should compare yourself to your friend. That's not doing either of you any good. It's not good for you because its making you feel worse about yourself. And honestly, its not fair to her either - you don't know what she's going through. Some people are really good at putting a smile on their face and hiding their depression. And as far as the being spoiled.. depression can have biochemical causes, which has nothing to do with how much money she has.

    That being said, if you want someone to care about you, you've got to let someone know. You're in high school I'm guessing? Start with a guidance counselor. Or you can talk to your GP. Or a parent if you're comfortable. I don't want this to sound harsh, because I know how stressful it can be to ask for anti-depressants.. but if you can muster teh courage to ask, they're not that hard to get. Most docs I've seen give them out like candy.

    I spent a lot of years hoping someone would notice my issues and it didn't work. It's not that people don't care about you, just everyone has their own issues and tend to not be very observant. If you want help, you just have to take the plunge and tell someone. I've found once you tell one person, its easier for the cascade to start and before you know it they'll be putting you on meds, getting you into therapy, threatening you with hospitalization (lol, kidding.. sort of).

    good luck