Why Doesnt Anyone Fucking Care :@:@:@

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by joeysephine, Jun 22, 2007.

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  1. joeysephine

    joeysephine Well-Known Member

    NO ONE CARES ABOUT ME
    I'LL STAND THERE CRYING MY EYES OUT
    CAUSE IV BEEN MOLESTERED FOR THE SECOND TIME
    OR BECAUSE MY MAMS COMING ROUND TO THREATEN ME

    and no one asks whats wrong

    no one even looks

    and a 100 people will look at this
    and 1 will reply with everything will be ok
    when its not going to be

    FUCK YOU ALL
     
  2. White Dove

    White Dove Well-Known Member

    Hey,

    i will not tell you everything will be okay , but what i will tell you is what happened to me and why i want to kill myself. I will tell you that i attempted to take my life on 3 seperate times and each time i tried it i used a little more for my overdose.

    First time i took just 10

    second time i took 35

    the last time i tried it i took 60 sleeping pills and drank whisky. but guess what God would not let me die, and why do i say GOD would not let me die?? cause i left my body , seen the docvs working on me , and heard everything they said about me and seen their tears. I then went into total darkness , so dark i could not see my hands or see anything. All i could do ( cause i was a christian at the time ) was to cry out to God. then an image appeared to me. a bright image so bright and so powerful that i feel down to my knees and yes at that light i found the ground and was able to see. this image asked me if that was what i wanted and i said no then this image said go back for a little while. it is not your time. i will come and get you when it is your time and take you to a peaceful place. go bring my lost back to me. at that moment i was waking up in the hospital.

    That is what happened to me.

    Now why am i here now??? Because i am thinking of attempting my life once again and this time i plan on using way enough . I basically hurt God, hurt a minister. hurt loved ones and i recently tried to correct it but i can not undo the damage done no matter what i say no matter what i do can never be good enough and to beat it all i went online to a chat to try and help ease my pain with people i thought where my friends and i got called a whore. It was an icon saying i was a whore of attention. so i was called a whore and it hurt. When i needed just a little bit of hope i got the most breaking hurt of my life.

    This happened this past sunday or rather monday if you count it was after midnight, i even sent all my goodbyes but they are ignored as attention getters. I will probably succeed at this , this time cause i have had it but that if you want a friend please pm me , if you are allowed to on this forum or at least share with me what is going on and i will give more details about me.

    susan
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 22, 2007
  3. liveinhope

    liveinhope Well-Known Member

    People do care and they can also relate to how you are feeling, sadly there is no magic cure or wand to wave that will make it all right make us want to live we have to look a little for it and it can be hard. These guys are your friend your support network the way you have expressed yourself may make them think they have failed you. I dont believe that to be the case hang in there it is clearly really bad right now om me if you want to chat in private.
    Please take care
    Dawn
     
  4. joeysephine

    joeysephine Well-Known Member

    I'm sick of looking for was to be happy, when ever something good happens to me something comes and bites me in the arse and makes everything bad again, when my lifes just starting to look good again something happens to make that good thing really shit.

    I'm sick of trying to make my self happy, its time for the people around me to try, i dont understand why i have to everything, why do i have to be the brave fighter, i want to be the person who stands at the side for once
     
  5. liveinhope

    liveinhope Well-Known Member

    I can understand that i have experienced several deaths in the last 3 years all very close all very sudden age ranges fro 7 - 59 each time i felt i was getting on top of all the emotions the next one died its probably a different feeling to yours but i do undertand it would be nice to have some respite. Have ou heard of Maytree! as i see you live in England its a place for people to go that are suicidal its free 5 day stay in London u can only go once but it really helped me they are lovelythere its not got any medical connections

    Dawn
     
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