**why don't they understand!!**

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Marshmallow, Dec 5, 2006.

  1. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    Why don't people fucking understand!!

    Two people i talked to about my burning to today and both times i got a fucking lecture!

    My cousin said, i qoute:

    'ur an idiot'

    'u need to get help'

    The one person i thought would fucking understand!!! she knows how hard to is not to cut! she went thru it herself! and she turns round and calls me an idiot. Whatever i don't give a shit no more.

    Told my teacher aswell and got a lecture off her, should of never told her about the burning. She asked to see my arm and i should her, and she kinda got pissed at seeing the burn marks and the scars, made me feel like shit. I was even worried about going home because what i might do on the way home.

    And right now i'm thinking of ODing, was gonna go shop and buy some stuff but now got people all worried, one even asking about my address. If i did take anything then its not enough to harm me, just enough to get 'away' from it.

    I wanna go to the shop NOW but then i got someone saying their gonna call me if i go out. I'm scared because their asking for my address :sad: I don't even wanna be on the computer but their making me stay! I just wanna go.

    Just wanna leave :sad:

    It might stop me tonight, doesn't mean i won't go out and buy some tomorrow or the day after or the day after that, their not allways gonna be there.
     
  2. left behind

    left behind Guest

    ive never burned, only cut, dose it leave less damage?
     
  3. Allo..

    Allo.. Well-Known Member

    Hold on for us sweetie,
    Sometimes its to hard for people to understand, and come at it the wrong way.. they tell us off rather than support us so we can get thru it because they have this vauge idea in their minds that telling us off will stop it.

    We all care for you Vik, you mean so much to us and are a huge part of our community.

    Please take care, Ally _%

    P.S. Well done for telling someone!
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 5, 2006
  4. Fatman1966

    Fatman1966 Antiquitie's Friend

    Before I start, I have no idea what cutting and self harm are all about.

    I really dont, but last time I cut myself by accident, I fainted !!!

    Not good for a old duffer like me !

    But

    There is always a but .... People don't understand because they don't know what its like to be you. I've said this before, but its like asking a rabbit what its like tobe a zebra, they are both animals after all.

    That's the hard part, something I have never managed to do, being able and confident and trusting enough, to able to tell someone the deepest darkest thoughts, that make you who you are and trusting enough in that person to be able to see a glimmer of the pain you are going through.

    I tried once but got frozen out, you're trying with real people, that's a huge step, one I have never been able to make, but keep trying, one of them might get there in end.

    that's all you need, that's all of us need.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 5, 2006
  5. Abacus21

    Abacus21 Staff Alumni

    Hang in there hun :)

    :hug: I'm about to send ya a PM :)

    Take care :) :hug:

    Joe
     
  6. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    Sorry need to ge this out!

    I was just chatting to someone from college and they asked why i wasn't in today so i was honest and said why, and i said i harm myself in ways that you'd find fucked up and she turned round and said:

    "you sound like your proud of it"

    "don't you wanna help yourself"

    OMG im soooo fucking pissed off right now, she don't know one thing about me or how i feel right now!!

    I AM NOT PROUD OF THE SELF HARMING!!! 3 fucking days i've gone without burning! are those the actions of someone whos proud of it!!! Find me one person whos fucking proud of it!!

    And i am trying to fucking help myself!! thats why i've been to the doctors, councellor, psycoligist and now a psychiatrist, are those the fucking actions of someone who doesnt wanna help themselfs! who cant people understand what self harming is about! people are so fucking naive!

    I want them to know what its like to hate yourself with a passion that your willing to harm and scar your body for LIFE and even take your life because you hate yourself THAT much.

    Fuck sake!!

    *sorry for all the swearing, as you can proberbly tell im pretty pissed off*