Why don't they understand?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by virgo, Apr 16, 2012.

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  1. virgo

    virgo Member

    On one of the other threads there was a statement about how angry a father was with his son for committing suicide. He said that it was a selfish thing to do and destroyed the lives of lots of people. When I am acutely suicidal I am not capable of thinking about the impact my actions might have on someone else. The pain is too overwhelming and becomes my whole world. All I can see is stopping the pain somehow, anyhow. I don't want to live. I don't want to exist. I only want peace. Every day is a struggle to survive, to fight the suicidal impulses, to refuse to give in to the depression, to try to reach out for help, but sometimes I can't manage to do any of that. Sometimes I just can't see any other choice than suicide. One day I will succeed. I am not deliberately trying to destroy anyone's life, not that I believe my death would do that, nor am I being selfish. I'm just being so swamped with pain and rampant emotions that I can't think. So, before anyone judges me, try walking in my shoes for a day.
     
  2. SilentScream

    SilentScream Well-Known Member

    Hello,

    You have pretty well described how you feel,
    and I feel sorry.
    I wish there was anything I could do to help you.

    All I can say is that you are not alone,
    and there are people who will understand you.
    There are people who care about you and who want you to be here.

    And somewhere you know you also want to stay here and be with people.

    Suicide sometimes seems to be the best solution, yes..
    I have been there, I have been insanely suicidal..
    Been trying multiple things to get rid of my life..

    But, people should value life,
    no matter how crappy it is.
    You only have got this one chance,
    This one chance to live your life like you want to,
    Like you want to and how you want to.
    But, there will always be obstacles,
    there will be darkness,
    There will be rain,
    But, do not forget that the sun always shines,
    it just can not reach everyone at the same time.
    But, neither can rain nor darkness..
    And.. the sun even shines when it's dark, even when it rains.

    And.. I am convinced that barely anything is permanent;
    Our problems are not, our lives are not, our feelings are not and our world is not.
    The onliest thing being permanent is the fact that there are no other thigns which are permanent.

    I really hope that you will be fine!

    Take care! :)
     
  3. marjoke

    marjoke Account Closed

    I feel the same...on the edge...nothing matters anymore...I do understand you...
     
  4. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I can see this from both points of view. I understand where you're coming from... that the pain gets to be so much, it's all you can see and feel.

    But anger at losing someone to suicide is also a normal reaction. I'm not saying that people who feel suicidal are selfish. But I've seen how excruciating the pain is to the person who lost their loved one. So it's something that does need to be considered, and brought up at times. It's not to make people feel guilty; it's the truth. The loss hurts, and continues to hurt. It's not a pain that goes away.
     
  5. spidy

    spidy Well-Known Member

    I understand the pain and what things you are going through but i will say i dont even understand my suicidle thinking wish i did but i dont.I know that moment when all has to end well your not thinking straight i know that much.I have seen myself first hand what it can do to families.Me myself my sis wopuld be pissed as shes put effort into me my ex would be as my kids would be devastated.Its not the way things can always get solved and the best way of doing this is talking to somebody you trust.Ive also done alot of reading of why im like this and that does help.Im not going to say theres light at the end of the tunnel cause some things stick with you for life just need to learn to deal with them.
     
  6. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni


    That was me and you honestly did not read my post correctly. I love my son and am not angry with HIM... I am angry with suicide. Suicide is the most senseless thing that there is and like it or not, yes indeed it does destroy the lives of everyone who knew the person who did it. I am often reminded of people who have horrible disabilities, poverty, starvation, unjust prison terms, various forms of abuse (including people in many countries and societies that do not share the freedoms that many of us in the free world have). Those are the shoes that I hope people think about walking in. I know you will feel that what I just posted is mean or cruel, but it is a reality that might help or save someone. Since my son left us, I have been fortunate enough to actually see people saved by various intervention actions. Eventually, when the fog clears, they are happy that they are here to look back on it.
     
  7. spidy

    spidy Well-Known Member


    Well said and to be honest intervention is the greatest thing i wouldnt be her if it wasnt for it and im grateful And i hear what your angrey about and believe you must be a very strong willed person plus a very caring person especially what you have been through and all i have to say keep the good work up.
     
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