On one of the other threads there was a statement about how angry a father was with his son for committing suicide. He said that it was a selfish thing to do and destroyed the lives of lots of people. When I am acutely suicidal I am not capable of thinking about the impact my actions might have on someone else. The pain is too overwhelming and becomes my whole world. All I can see is stopping the pain somehow, anyhow. I don't want to live. I don't want to exist. I only want peace. Every day is a struggle to survive, to fight the suicidal impulses, to refuse to give in to the depression, to try to reach out for help, but sometimes I can't manage to do any of that. Sometimes I just can't see any other choice than suicide. One day I will succeed. I am not deliberately trying to destroy anyone's life, not that I believe my death would do that, nor am I being selfish. I'm just being so swamped with pain and rampant emotions that I can't think. So, before anyone judges me, try walking in my shoes for a day.