Why dont we let go ?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by TearsDropBloodTrickles, Oct 11, 2006.

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  1. TearsDropBloodTrickles

    TearsDropBloodTrickles Well-Known Member

    Why is it that pain is easier to hold on to then it is to let go ? I mean we all do it, if someone has died, if we've ended a relationship, if we got fired from work... We dont process it, we just sit on it...we "mope" around the house...we carry it, even though every day it gets heavier on our shoulders.. why dont we let go ?
  2. Sa Palomera

    Sa Palomera Well-Known Member

    hi TDBT,

    firstly I'd like to say sorry that you feel like this. I dont know why we cant let go either, Maybe cos it is hard to let go of something so familiar. It's human nature to be afraid of the unknown and to hold on to the familiar and I guess thats the case here

    if you need a private talk, my pm box is open ;)

    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 11, 2006
  3. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    I think with a lot of us we have been through so much, that things that happen, we are already hurt then it's like the feather that pushes you over the cliff, type of thing. And it's hard to let things go, but it's not always for the same reasons, sometimes in our subconcious, it symbolizes things.

    :hug: :hug:


    And Hey Xmas! :hug: heh heh
  4. TLA

    TLA Antiquitie's Friend

    We don't know how.

    We are not taught how to grieve and let go. Some endings are easier than others.

    It may be all we know. Pain. Hurt. Being left by others we thought loved us.
    Panic. Shit. Dashed hope.

    Maybe it is something you learn. Some men seem to learn it. My ex did. Did not let things get to him. A good quality most of the time, but pushing things away leads to not grieving.

    Very good question.

  5. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    Good point! :hug:
  6. TLA

    TLA Antiquitie's Friend

    Found an article; I was not even searching-thought it interesting.

    'Real Man' Stereotypes Keep Depressed Men From Treatment

    Older males have an 8-fold higher suicide risk than women, experts note
    -- Robert Preidt

    FRIDAY, Oct. 6 (HealthDay News) -- The "strong, silent type" of self-image cherished by many men, combined with social stigma, are major reasons why older American males are less likely than women to seek and receive treatment for depression, researchers say.

    The findings from a team at the University of California, Davis, are important because the rate of completed suicide among American men aged 65 and older is nearly 32 per 100,000, compared with about four per 100,000 for women in the same age group.

    The researchers examined data from 1,800 adults aged 60 and older with major depression or a related disorder who took part in a national study on depression. They also interviewed 30 people connected to the study -- including doctors, depression-care managers, and study recruiters -- in order to get their views about the challenges in recruiting and treating older men with depression.

    The study found that, compared with older women, older men were much less likely to recognize and describe symptoms of depression and to have received prior treatment for depression.

    The interviews with the people connected to the study revealed factors that contributed to the differences between men and women, including the way that men experience and express their depression, traditional male attitudes, and the stigma of depression.

    "Because older men tend not to endorse depressed mood or sadness, they were often felt to be more reluctant to accept the diagnosis of depression and the treatment recommendations," the study authors noted.

    The findings suggest new ways to educate and help older men with depression, such as using less direct or clinical (i.e. threatening) language to discuss depression; involving family in all phases of treatment; and de-emphasizing professional labels and placing more emphasis on symptoms and sources of stress.

    The study was published in the October issue of the American Journal of Geriatric Psychiatry.

    More information:
    The U.S. National Institute of Mental Health has more about men and depression.

    Read More About Depression at MSN Health & Fitness:
    Talk About It: Real Men Don't Get Treated for Depression?
    Male depression: Don't ignore the symptoms
    Men At Work and Under Pressure
    Reality Check: Depression

    SOURCE: University of California, Davis, news release, Sept. 27, 2006
  7. Lament

    Lament New Member

    Yeah, I know how does it feel. I just broke up with my girlfriend... At first, I was so sad and down, I didn't eat for 2 days because of that. Then, someone told me that everything must have an end. Even the most famous book must have the last page, and the last word. There's no thing that last forever in this life. Love makes us naive to everything.

    Right now, I'm in the middle of recovery from the losing. And so far, so good. I don't want to spend the rest of my life for regretting something or mourning something. I still have so much to do in my life. I want to feel love again, I want to smile again, and I want to be loved again. If I keep stuck in my past, I'll have no future.

    P.S. Sorry if there's any typo. I'm very bad at grammar.
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 12, 2006
  8. TearsDropBloodTrickles

    TearsDropBloodTrickles Well-Known Member

    Whats the fucking point i cant take it anymore. IS HAVING ONE GOOD DAY WITHOUT CRYING TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR. Damn! IVE HAD A FUCKING 'NOUGH. I need to work out a way i can kill myself slowly, so it looks like an accident, so i dont have to be racked with guilt..it makes sense in my head.
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