Why DONT you do it?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by wheresmysheep, Jan 9, 2011.

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  1. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    I was thinking this on my car journey home today. Why I havent done it yet, even tho i want to.
    And what I came to the conclusion of, was the person that will ultimately find me. I wouldnt want to put that on anyone. And ok, I will be dead, so I wont have to deal with it. But *they* will have to deal with it. And i do not want anyone in this place I am in.
     
  2. Cpt-Fantastic

    Cpt-Fantastic Banned Member

    for me its a difficult border to kill someone even if it is me. i always have this what if.. that has restrained me untill now
     
  3. thepainwithin

    thepainwithin Well-Known Member

    Scared of it being painful, scared of how it will affect my family.
     
  4. odnox

    odnox Well-Known Member

    Honestly, I haven't done it yet because I still hold just the slightest hope that my life will get better. And it is getting better, but at a galacial pace.
     
  5. S1l3nc3r

    S1l3nc3r Well-Known Member

    I'm not compleately sure why I haven't. (nearly took a huge overdose of pills after going out one night and getting drunk. Passed out before I took them though). Think it comes down to knowing the upset I will cause to the rest of my family etc. I don't want to do it to them. I no I am a suicide no question In my mind it's going to happen. Just not yet I'm going to have to wait till the time is right. I already have caused enough problems and to be selfish enough to cause that much more grief I wouldn't want to. It means holding on for a bit longer so I just go on day by day week by week waiting.
     
  6. ~Young-Violet~

    ~Young-Violet~ Banned Member

    Hello WheresMySheep,

    Sorry to hear you are not feeling to well, we all ask us the quesion "Why?" There are many reasons "Why" people DO NOT act upon these, it will only pass the pain on and leave devistateing affects, no think do you really want to end it and pass the pain on, slowly dieing away in to another person? Do you get couselling/therapy at all?
     
  7. Avarice

    Avarice Well-Known Member

    I guess because it's so final. I start thinking about all the things I'll never get to experience and places I'll never have the chance to see, and it makes me start to doubt my decision because it feels so sudden and rushed, even if I've been preparing myself for it.
     
  8. warrabinda

    warrabinda Well-Known Member

    because of unfinished business. if i went out and did it now i'd leave so many things unsaid. i'm a perfectionist.
    because i am kind of scared.
    because it would destroy my parents. when i deeply consider this i start crying, however i also think it will save everyone a lot of disappointment.
    because it's embarassing.
     
  9. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    i don't go through with it because i know these feelings will pass. they are a symptom of mental illness. the better i am, the less suicidal i feel. sure it comes back and when it does i am convinced that i have always felt this way. but it's not true. i live for the better times.
     
  10. will_1957

    will_1957 Well-Known Member

    I'm scared of how it will affect my family. My father is a recovering alcoholic and also has problems with depression and anxiety, along with other family members who also have issues with mental illness. I'm also afraid of going to some place less than pleasant after I die, even though I'm fairly agnostic.

    I also fear that whatever method I use there's always a chance that I will fail and just horribly ruin my body or brain and become a cripple or a vegetable without the ability to take my life any more. I'm also afraid of being found and being sent to the hospital yet again. After being in the psych ward 3 fucking times I definitely do not want to go back there ever!
     
  11. revoltra

    revoltra Well-Known Member

    For me it's more about making sure it's right. I've had a failed attempt once so now i think out every detail on how, when and what. I'm gonna gonna do it just to get attention when i wake up after. So when i get those thoughts i spend more time toying with the idea and planning how it's gonna happen. Obviously not healthy.
     
  12. Deleted SKU

    Deleted SKU Well-Known Member

    Just find it difficult to build up the courage, and find a way to do it with certainty.
     
  13. Isabel

    Isabel Staff Alumni

    For one, my mental health has consistently improved to the point I got out of depression. That helped.

    At the lowest points, I always had in mind the people I love and my pets. If I could not do something for myself, I could always do something for them. That got me out of bed many times.

    And then, there was an inner voice telling me that the whole point of life is living it, which means going through a whack of experiences, good and bad. That the joy was coming from the same place than the pain, and that was the price to pay for the privilege of existing. And even in the mist of the worst, there is always an opportunity to learn something: you know, if you have lemons make lemonade philosophy. So when it got really bad, I would focus on holding just a few more days, a few more hours, a few more minutes. Because the storm always fades away and you are still around to enjoy sun. Nobody really wants to die, just for the pain to stop. It probably all sounds very corny, but it works for me.
     
  14. S1l3nc3r

    S1l3nc3r Well-Known Member

    I wish I could share your view in this statement.

    I see so many people trying to be healthy all the time. Worrying about living trying to prolong it forever. No one seems to have any acceptance. You will die end of. I think things become less stressful for me when I accepted it. But I don't want to be an old cripple and not be able to do things for myself.
    I fear people dieing around me like my parents. Because I no then I will be alone. I really don't like alone. :unsure:
     
  15. hi my name is

    hi my name is Well-Known Member

    i know sure fire way to do it that is very quick, painless, clean, and relatively cheap. so those are some fear some ppl have that I definately do not have. the only thing keeping me from going is the fact that I know exactly why I was sent here instead of anywhere else in the universe. i actually know why! and everytime i want to commit suicide i go through the same process of how many ppl i will let down that need me more then i need me
     
  16. At this point I'm afraid that I'll be found again and locked up in the psych ward. There's nothing worse than being sectioned. Talk about feeling like life is out of your control. Being told when you can eat, shower, go to sleep, wake up...
     
  17. Cpt-Fantastic

    Cpt-Fantastic Banned Member

    really? to me that sounds like heaven, id love to be disciplined and have someone else finally think for me, it takes my mind of thinks, i was nearly locked up but i did my best not to, because i am kind of claustrofobic and i still had to walk my dog and feed him and everything and i dont like the aftertaste because i am afraid it gets documented and it comes out one way or another. but for the help and the hands on approach, wow i wish someone would care so much about me
     
  18. Rukia

    Rukia Well-Known Member

    I don't want to hurt anyone. Simple as that. I know my death would hurt so many people. When I'm sane I believe that it's better that I'm in pain instead of the ones I love.
     
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