Why should i fight? I can't see any good in my future. I feel like a loser. There is no pain in death, so why can't I just end it? I have nothing to look forward to. What if I have another psychotic break? I can't go through that again. I can't even get a job. 20 years from now I'm still gonna be living with my dad, probably working some crappy job, no drivers license. I've never succeed at anything. My family loves me, but I they no I'm a loser, even my little sister said that "all you do is play video games, sleep, you have no girlfriend, and your weird." She was joking but it's true. She's only 11 and can she what already everybody else can see in my life. but that's the way it will always be, it's meant to be that way. I'm an oddity, a dork, a weirdo, I don't fit in. I am socially, physically, intellectually inferior. My life is meant to be a tragedy. No happy ending, no heroic deeds. "the good guy does not get the girl or defeat the villain", but dies by his own hand in shame, dishonor, pain, and anguish that hellfire could not bring.