why HANG on?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by livingonlight, Jan 12, 2008.

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  1. livingonlight

    livingonlight Active Member

    So many people say "hang on, things will get better". Sometimes they do get better but some people go around in circles forever in misery and pain for nothing. I wonder sometimes when psople say that do they really believe it?

    I don't believe in religion anymore and I wish I did because I might have an answer to my suicide question. To me there is nothing wrong with dying, many people do everyday. Why is there so much denial about that in this world.

    I also don't think there is anything wrong with making a decision about your death because this is just a part of living. There is no hell and things do improve after you leave... a lot!

    So why am I still here? Well I didn't do it today because I don't have the right method. But the method I have chosen is very easy to get and very reliable. I have reaserched this a lot and there is no question thet it will work. I do have something that could make me very sick and blind but not necessarly dead so after thinking about this method for a few hours I decided not to use it.

    In the past I have tried to make the best of things and it seems better for a while but I have learned that I just end up in the same place. Why fight it when I know that I will be happier when I am not here. The Self goes on but just not here.

    All the beliefs we have about death are just made up and what do I care if people here hurt when I'm gone. I won't hurt any longer and the only person I am acountable to is myself. You have to answer to yourself for your decisions and if I live another 50 years I will still be acountable to myself only.

    I have tried to call and e-mail people to help but i am alone and of course no one is worried much until after you are gone and it is truly affecting THEM.
    That is one thing that I am starting to discover, everyone only cares about themselves and how you are affecting them.

    I really want to do it tonight, there is no other choice for me. I have always been doomed I just didn't know it. My only wish is that I will do it right and end this pain forever.

    Light
     
  2. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Hi Light. Sorry to hear that things are pretty rough on you right now. Please don't kill yourself. Death is supposed to be a natural part of life. We aren't meant to take our own lives. This goes against the plan of God, and even if you don't believe in God, God still loves your beautiful soul. Please think about your loved ones and how they will feel if you took your life.
     
  3. Alastair

    Alastair Well-Known Member

    what brought you here?
     
  4. livingonlight

    livingonlight Active Member

    {{{Dave}}}
    thanks
    I do have a little sympathy for the feelings of people who know me but my life is over, no good and painful. I have a mental illnes and I abuse drugs and alcohol. I wont change unless some very specfic things happen and they won't because there is no money and no one with money to help.
    {{{Alastair}}}
    I found this forum a few months ago when I googled suicide.
    This is a very good way to hang on, typeing on the PC, youtubing celeb gossip and other stuff.
    But not enough. This seems like the only thing I can do right now and my life keeps going down hill. The next logical step is to end it.

    Light
     
  5. livingonlight

    livingonlight Active Member

    I don't know if I answered you question in the right way.
    Do you mean what is making me feel this way?

    If so then I can tell you that I have been fighting suicidal ideation for 14 years with little success. As I get older things just get worse, I make very bad decisions and life just gets harder. People leave because I make them uncomfortable and ther is no cure for this. I am truly comforted by my beliefs regarding my passing and tonight I plan to get some food and my method and be as comfortable as possible and really get it over with.

    Light
     
  6. livingonlight

    livingonlight Active Member

    So God loves you less if you end your life. There are many flaws in the thinking.:huh:
     
  7. Alastair

    Alastair Well-Known Member

    how do you want to be remembered when you die?

    or do you not care?

    these are serious questions

    how do you want to be remembered?

    or do you not care?
     
  8. livingonlight

    livingonlight Active Member

    However I am remembered when I die is really not my concern. Why would it matter after I am gone.

    If I were concerned about that, which I have been until recently I would not tourture myself thinking about something I can't have, death experience.
    It really a relief what I know now about the death experience.

    I read somewhere that the medical model for mental illness and suicide is making you well enough to leave a hospital setting. What possible reason would i have to commit myself to a horrible place where people don't really know me and all choice is taken from me.
     
  9. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    You ask why hang on. How about because unless you live life through you won't trully know what could be. It's a shame when someone dies or kills them self prematurely because all that's left is "what if" instead of "what was".
     
  10. LILICHIPIE

    LILICHIPIE Well-Known Member

    I totally understand you. I hope we can chat soon!
    I feel for you. peace
     
  11. mrclean4456

    mrclean4456 Member

    Hey Light...I totally understand...and am wheree you are at...aren't we in charge of deciding our lives?...when and how to go?...more power to you!...send me a PM when you get a chance...

    -Kent
     
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