why hard on me

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by White Dove, Aug 3, 2007.

  1. White Dove

    White Dove Well-Known Member

    why hard on me?

    Why does my hurting have to be so much hard on me?

    Why does my life have to have this stupid cancer?

    Why give it to me? why allow it to happen?

    I dont want it.. I never wanted it.. I did want to be loved..

    Why was that so hard to do?

    Yes , i know all about the saying you must love yourself, well i did love myself but not anymore.. Why love a body that is full of cancer?

    I cant stop it you know.. so why give it to me? why do i have to suffer this pain? WHAT DID I EVER DO TO DESERVE THIS PAIN? WHAT? TELL ME WHAT IT WAS?

    WHY DID YOU TAKE MY MOM? You knew i needed her.. you knew i needed her yet you took her away from me... What about my best friend? You knew that i cared for her yet you took her also... we did everything together , we went skateing, we did it all, yet you took her from me..

    Why do i have to have hardship upon hardship? why?

    I just dont understand it?

    You took them away from me.. when i felt so close to Elaine , you took her from me.. david was like a dad yet you took him from me... you took them both.. you allowed satan to put a wedge between us.. you allowed it so i would be alone...

    HOW CAN YOU SAY YOU LOVE ME??? HOW CAN YOU SAY IT?

    I MISS THEM.. I MISS THE PEOPLE WHO MEANT EVERYTHING TO ME, I REALLY MISS THEM AND NOW THAT I HAVE THIS STUPID CANCER THAT YOU GAVE ME AND WHEN I NEED THEM THE MOST YOU KEPT THEM FROM ME... WHY?

    Why do i have to hurt ? this cancer pain is beyond anything i have ever felt before , but why? Why give it to me? why couldnt you just let me die a while back??

    im angry but most of all im hurt.. i want to justy scream at you and everyone else because i am hurt... i am so sick and tired of being hurt.. i am so sick and tired of allowing my heart to trust and yet it to be hurt upon hurt back to me.. i cant take it anymore.. this heart cant take it anymore..

    Have i not did what you wanted me to do? i have.. i have did what you wanted? i pleaded with the Daltons but you allow them to continue to have a hardened hearts.. ive tried to help others here. ive placed the movies you wanted to be placed here but it is not doing any good... i have told the truth here online and i have tried to be what you want me to be so why cant you ease up on my pain????

    is that too much to ask from you?

    God why cant you TOUCH THE DALTONS HEART? WHY CANT YOU LET THEM SEE THAT WHAT I SPEAK IS THE TRUTH? WHY CANT YOU LET THEM KNOW THAT I NEED THE PEACE TO MAKE THINGS RIGHT WITH YOU??? YOU GOT ME DOING ALL THIS BUT ITS NOT HELPING... I CANT HELP THESE PEOPLE HERE CAUSE I CANT HELP MYSELF.. I AM TOO WEAK....

    I AM JUST TOO WEAK...
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 3, 2007