Since you´re reading SF, you're alive. Unless you're some sort of zombie, in which case I beg of you to send me a message to explain it. Anyway. You're alive, which means you've not killed yourself. Why? What keeps you going? What aids you to survive? If you can't think of anything, think harder. Maybe you're just not suicidal. My survival is thanks to it being too much of an effort to kill myself.