Why Haven't You Done It Yet? *Triggers*

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Aurora Gory Alice, Oct 12, 2009.


Why Haven't You Done 'It' Yet?

  1. Fear: I'm scared of the pain death might bring to me and I'm scared of what is on the other side.

    21 vote(s)
  2. Hope: I don't want to die, I just want to get better and I want to fight this.

    18 vote(s)
  3. Guilt: My family/friends would never forgive me and they would never understand.

    28 vote(s)
  4. Coward: I just say I am going to do it. Truth is, I have no plans to and I never have.

    7 vote(s)
  5. Method: I haven't thought hard enough about one that I can cope with yet.

    10 vote(s)
  6. Other: Please comment

    28 vote(s)
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  1. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    I keep thinking about this, today I woke up in pain, physical and mental. I know why, because I'm one of those people who over thinks everything, I have a vivid imagination and I think about things too closely.

    Every time I have come as close as I am ever going to get, my head goes to the reasons why not to, consequences, guilt...

    It all really goes to my mother though. She wanted a little girl, she always used to tell me about that when I was a child, how much she wanted a little girl and in those days they couldn't tell you what you were having so when she found out I was a girl (when I was born) she squealed, she was so happy.
    I was a lovely little girl, she said I was precious, I never wanted to get my clothes dirty so she never had to worry about me coming home mucky like my brother. She said when I was a baby I'd wash, feed, poop and sleep a whole 8hrs and she said I was no trouble at all. lol.
    How can I kill myself after she carried me for 9 months, looked after me, worked hard to feed me and clothe me almost killed herself in the process. For me to kill myself would be like saying "in your face! It was all for nothing!".

    I am also scared, scared of what it would mean and what is on the other side. Will I go to hell? I'm not scared of the act of dying, just think it'd be like any regular pain, eventually it'll be over. I'm scared of what comes after and what it would mean for those I will leave behind.
  2. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    I have the same fear.

  3. helena

    helena Staff Alumni

    because my kids are too young.
  4. Mathale

    Mathale Well-Known Member

    i dont want to :(
  5. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

  6. Little_me

    Little_me Well-Known Member

    Guilt. I can't do that to my family. They would never come over it
  7. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    My problem seems to be all in the timing.
  8. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    god i want to but as long as my daughter is here so will i be. I can't expect her to fight when i am not willing to do so either.
  9. Sad Rabbit

    Sad Rabbit Account Closed

    When I feel I have enough justification to do it, I will do it. When my reasons to live are less than those reasons to die, then I will do it.

    When I feel there is nothing for me - or there ever will be - I will do it.

    I do not fear death...I am looking forward to being out of pain, hurt and dispair. It may be a permenant nothing, but that is better than what my life currently is.
  10. datto

    datto Member

    guilt, it would be selfish of me to do that to my family.... but it does get hard.... sometimes i think it won't matter in 1000 years....
  11. requiem46

    requiem46 Active Member

    You know, I actually don't have a clue. I guess guilt is the most important factor, but I can be fine without giving a damn about anyone for long enough periods of time to actually go and do it, and yet I somehow don't do it :huh:
  12. Shogun

    Shogun Well-Known Member

    Method and a little fear. But I voted method.

    There is a method that suits me, but it's not available in this country. If I lived in America, I'd probably already be dead.
  13. shefallsasleep

    shefallsasleep Well-Known Member

    Because everytime I think I've made up my mind I see how much I am already hurting my parents by just being depressed, by ending my life I would be ending theirs too and they are really the only thing keeping me going x
  14. nobodyandeverybody

    nobodyandeverybody Active Member

    i'm really not sure how much longer i can hold on a little bit method
  15. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I clicked the fear option. Fear is a big one for me as well. In fact the only one I'd say. Although I'm more scared of what the process of dying will be like rather than what's on the other side. I am scared that I will be in the middle of it and be like wait no no no I don't want this omg it's too late. I know that I would either be insanely panicked knowing I made the decision and it can never be undone, or I would be extremely at peace because I know it's all going to be over. But I can't predict how I would react. I am very scared.

  16. TWF

    TWF Well-Known Member

    Both guilt and fight. I want to fight it for my parents.
    If I didn't have a family who cared for me I might have been gone
  17. depleted_soul

    depleted_soul Well-Known Member

    I chose other. I honestly don't know why I haven't done it yet. I have no reason not to do it. I live alone and I have the means so I think it's just a matter of time before I go through with it.
  18. perry_mason

    perry_mason Well-Known Member

    coward - although i have methods what i know for sure will work, im just a coward and plain and simple cannot do it.
    i would have put guilt before but i dont have any friends that would care.
  19. Ordep

    Ordep Well-Known Member

    Other. I have unfinished business, and I can't go until it's done...

    After that, I dunno what will happen. Either I'll die, or I'll have to pick another reason.
  20. HawthornePassage

    HawthornePassage Well-Known Member

    1. Excessive willpower, to live that is
    2. Lack of blissful method readily available
    3. False hope bubbling up
    4. Lack of motivation
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