I can if I willed myself to do it, but I feel it's not time yet. The past I have tried, but my body refuses to give up and let it carry out my wishes. I still feel my body isn't ready yet. There is hope, but hope can only go so far before it crashes and burns. How many times have I crashed and burned? Too many times, but not enough to impact me to the point where I just want to take a gun and shoot myself a few times. I'm taking on more stuff in life, a relationship, college, and a part time job. I feel and expect one of those if not all to crater...and that's when the big one hits....but I'm not putting all my eggs in one basket though. I just continue living on, making people that don't wish to know me feel happy, my girlfriend feel happy, and when my time comes, they're so involved in whatever they're doing they won't notice when I finally slip and disappear.