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why her? why not me?

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by alwaysalone, Aug 30, 2006.

  1. alwaysalone

    alwaysalone Active Member

    how can you love someone so much just to have them cast you aside? i know you've moved on, but to what? to witch-nose? no one else likes her but you. hate to break it to you.

    you promised you'd always be there, you promised you'd always care. but where have you gone? where have you disappeared to? i miss you so much, i don't care what anyone else says. i care about you, and that hasn't changed. why...why...why...why? i hate caring about you because it makes me so depressed. it makes me so depressed wondering why you threw me aside...that you obviously didn't care as much as you once said. it makes me fall into this hole that i don't even want to climb out of, and i can't afford to do that right now...not when there's so much else that needs to be done. it hurts so, so badly. i wish i didn't care anymore, but obviously i do. i wish i could cut you out of my life, i wish i had never met you. and it hurts. why? why are you doing this to me? i just don't understand.
  2. rachypooh

    rachypooh Well-Known Member

    I m right there with you I have gone through the same thing with one of my closest friends and my mother. I am finding it so hard to deal with because they dont understand what it is I am so upset about. It is just annoying the hell out of me
  3. justme107

    justme107 Active Member

    I'm there too. Someone I trusted completely and told everything to, and who said he wouldn't leave and all that other stuff. So I miss him and I hate him and I feel stupid. I can't comprehend it. It crushes me. So i just try every day to accept reality a little more. I have no advice to give you. Just hang in there, as dumb as that sounds. To him, I say -- :thumbdown I'm sorry he broke your heart.
  4. Mio

    Mio Well-Known Member

    I totally understand you... :sad:
    I've been in the same situation for several months... and now... it still presses on me... :sad:
    don't give up
    you're important. I really think so. I'm trying to climb out of this depression...
    so, please, try too...
    I'm here if you need me

  5. alwaysalone

    alwaysalone Active Member

    thank you so much. i am fighting back tears right now because your kindness and understanding are so overwhelming. your replies meant a lot to me. it is bitter sweet for me to realize, however, that somewhere, there are people i've never met personally that care about me more than my friend does. but your compassion means the world to me.

    i wish i wasn't getting more depressed by the day, but i am. i hate my job, i hate school, and i can't see anything worth doing in my future. i don't see the point in doing anything and i don't really like the people that i'm around in my classes. i go to sleep at night fantasizing about dying because right now, that is my happy thought, that is my escape. i don't mean to upset anyone. just...this whole thing with my friend is the icing in the cake. i can't get him out of my head. i hope someday he realizes what he threw away--someone that cares about him very much. at the same time, i can't help but want to call or write him and give him the "talking to" of his life. nothing that would help, i'm afraid.

    ::hugs:: thank you all so much again. if ever you need anything, know that you can come to me as well.

    love, aa
  6. I feel every ounce of your pain. I have maybe had 2 relationships in the past 6 years because each one was stopped abruptly and painfully. Each one went deeper. The only peace of mind I can offer you is that I feel every bloody ounce of your pain, and you aren't alone on this one.