Why does this happen? Is this the right question to ask? Is blame to be cast upon something as trivial as luck? =/ I thought she wouldn't do this, I trusted her... She knows I can't handle this shit... Yesterday was my birthday party, everything was fun, I brought this girl along which I've known for about 6 years now, to meet with all my friends. I love her. At this party, I believe she and one of my 3 best mates made out, probably while I was cooking some food for the party... I really wish this crap wouldn't have happened... I want to turn it back. I want to twist time's neck and bend it back, to where nothing ever happened. WHO AM I SUPPOSED TO BE ANGRY AT?! My best mate deserves all he can get, as does she. I'm trying to be happy for them but it hurts like shit. Why does every girl I like end up in the arms of one of my best mates? Why am I asking stupid questions like this while I know my depressed state will only find the wrong answers? Why do I even believe there is an answer? 'You'll find someone someday', yes, sure, people love it when you're all emotionally distant for miles away. I'm sure they'll find me. There is no victim, there is no suspect, just a bit of frivolous hurt, a fleeting feeling, nothing more. Close your eyes, everything´s all right. Don´t worry, don´t think about it. You knew this was coming. Just because she said ´Don´t worry about stuff like that´, you shouldn´t have let your guard down, not again. Just because you´re opening up, doesn´t mean you should drop the weapons. This is a fight to the death, be armed to the teeth, shielded to the bone. I hate myself, the useless thinking, the useless passing of thoughts in a train of thought no one catched. Ctrl. A. Delete. Stop deluding yourself.