why hold on?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by John6491, Feb 27, 2007.

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  1. John6491

    John6491 Well-Known Member

    im tired of holding on just to see everything get worse.... i just want to leave forever so i don't have to be around seeing everything get worse... my life wont get better it hasn't in a long long time and im ready to die... i just hope something kills me because im to afraid to do it myself..... i fail at everything i do and people don't accept how i am around here (told a friend im suicidal and depressed now she wont talk to me) so why should i hold on?????
  2. Jodi

    Jodi Staff Alumni

    hey John,

    That took some courage on your part t tell the friend how you feel, we wont stop listening here, we're here to help you.....lean on us my young friend....you have so much ahead of you....even though things are hard now...they do get better....thinking of you....
  3. John6491

    John6491 Well-Known Member

    yea right now only thing in my future is more and more pain....... i don't want anymore pain i don't want to feel anything....
  4. mike25

    mike25 Well-Known Member

    Hey John, hang in there.

    During a particularly tough time, I confided in two seperate 'friends' about my mental issues. They had always said 'I'm your friend, you can tell me anything, it doesn't matter what it is, I won't judge you, I'll be here for you'....- Friends forever and all that. They immediately pulled away, and the r'ships fizzled out within a short time. Rejection like this is equivalent to a knife in the soul. It shows that those people aren't mature yet. Baring ones soul is always a risky business.

    It's no surprise you're scared about killing yourself. I am too. That's your true inner voice trying to galvanise you in to rising up and fighting these self destructive ways. And you can do it. All the best.
  5. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    Hmmm well fear makes us hold on. But you can hold on with hope like me. The hope that one day I will be happy and will love life. Cling onto what everyone says "You do not know the future" believe it even if you are smarter than that. Hold on with mans greatest strength and his greatest weakness.
  6. yada

    yada Well-Known Member

    So I'm not the only one, huh? I've been confiding in a friend/relative for the past 9-10 months about my depression and she's provided me with a lot of support. But I too noticed that since a few months ago she has pulled away and the only thing I can remember being different is that I mentioned that I wanted to leave this world. But now I regret that. She's still shows me some compassion (and I'll take these little bits as I get it), but only when I ask for it, and somehow comes across as if she's obligated to check up on me.

    But I can't completely understand why someone would do this. In some ways I expect that these people (friends and non-professionals who support us) have no idea how to deal with this, but don't want to tell us directly. On the other hand, I had a cousin commit suicide some years ago and just prior to that, she had been emailing me with many deep questions such as if I understand the meaning of life and what our purpose is here, etc. I never placed her as depressed and never saw anything suicidal coming, but had that thought crossed my mind, I would've done anything possible to support her and prevent it. We're all different I guess.
  7. just hold on a little longer it will get better
  8. and we know what were going thorw
  9. John6491

    John6491 Well-Known Member

    no it wont get better...... my mom will die soon because of her cancer and then my dad will drink himself to death so i don't see anything getting better. I just don't want this anymore.....
  10. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    Death is part of the cycle of life my friend. All will go sooner or later.

    You should try to keep living for yourself. Family is great, but if they are your entire existence that will cause problems. You need to go off and lead your own life.

    Just hold out faith that maybe one day you will trip and fall into something good. I know you cannot hold that faith forever but only a little longer ok.
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