I didn't mention this in my last post because I wasn't ready. my hands are shaking just typing this. uhg. But something happend recently, definetly not what I expected. and it made me realized, things like this have been happening my whole life. When I was really little, learning how to swim our teacher was about..i'm not sure somewhere between 17 and 20 I think. My mom told me I must be his favorite because he was always telling her how much progress I was making, but she didn't stay to watch the lessons. He was always pulling me on his lap...and touching me. even when it was completely unecessary. UHG!. 5th grade my brother brought one of his friends over. Complete stoner but I didn't know I wasn't able to tell back then. It seemed like he stuck close the entire time he was over, eventually my brother made him leave when he kept giving me hugs. Eventually. 7th grade I remember sitting in class in front of these two guys, one was supposed to be my boyfriend. What do seventh graders know about relationships? they don't. They kept pulling down my jacket off my shoulder, and hitting my leg. Touching, me. SCREAM 8th grade, I was sitting on the stage in the gym, broken finger trying out for basketball. This guy, supposed to be like, the big stud on campus came up started talking to me. Then he put his hand on my leg. and rubbed. that makes me sick to type. I gave him a "what the hell are you doing?" lookk and he just laughed and walked away. None of them, took me seriously. Recently, there's been this guy. And he won't leave me alone. he dosn't ask when he hugs me, touches my hair from his seat behind me, rubs my arm touches my back and even though it's hard for me for some agononizing reason, I DO say stop. he laughs, more of a chuckle. And he whispers in my ear. SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND NOW AND HE HASN'T STOPPED. I wasnt to tell her, but she won't believe me. I know her, and she won't believe me. This is the hardest part... yesterday, durring lunch. Of course ALL the bathrooms were locked accept one. The one in the most deserted part of school. But I had to piss like BAD After I did my thing in the bathroom I walked out and he was there, with his friend. Who I could tell never liked me, but at least he didn't participate. I tried to walk around them but HE blocked my path. HE grabbed my arms and HE pushed me against the wall. his friend stood back and laughed as HE shoved his mouth onto mine on my neck I litterally felt like I was self imploding. thinking about it makes me want to like, take a acid bath. He put his hand UP MY SHIRT. SCREAM THRASH SCREAM he's so much bigger than me. I'm sort of tiny for my age, not much, but still. I was trapped there, while being felt up by.. this..monster. THAT'S what he is in my mind. a MONSTER. Eventually, he pulled away, laughed, had the nerve to rufflle my hair like some pet and sauntered away with his damned friend. there. just writing makes me not want to quite self implode so much. But the acid bath still sounds good. And I don't feel I can face going to school anymore facing him and his fucking smirk his mouth his face his presence my life.