Hi there, I was talking on the chat room about this and wondered if I am going mad. First of I am a self harmer. I often pretend I am not but I always either wear long sleeved t shirts or wrist bands or them arm warmers so I think many people have guessed anyway. I think my friends pretend not to notice anything even though I think they have noticed marks on my arms. Anyway thats not what I am trying to ask. People self harm for different reasons and was just wondering if it was normal to actually like the pain when I do this to myself. I mainly self harm when I am stressed and when life gets too much for me. It gives me relief and makes me feel complete again. I do feel unhappy most of my life. I often wish I would die or sleep and never wake up. Despite this I feel a huge emptiness inside me. Like life has no meaning and that something is missing. I am guessing I like the pain cause it makes me feel real. I am not religious. Infact I can't believe in any God or Goddess because it seems strange to me how anyone like that could make me feel this way. Even when I went to church cause my depression help book advised it I still felt empty. Like I wasn't good enough and that I was a failure. The vicar saying I was a sinner did little to help. It made me feel even more guilty and sad. Anyway back to self harming. I did this for about a year and am finding it increasingly hard to stop. Never been addicted to anything apart from caffeine but I feel as though I am addicted to self harm but this is crazy. You're not even putting a drug in your body so how in the world could I be addicted? I am just so confused and fed up I am sorry it is so long. If you are not interested please don't insult me. It will make me feel even worse. Thanks.