Why I Stay, and What It Costs

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Alone613, Mar 9, 2009.

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  1. Alone613

    Alone613 Active Member


    There Must Be Another Way To Live t Through Each Moment Of The Day

    I have some good reasons, important for certain, a reason to want to live,
    But struggling against my desire to die is a pain that rubs like an abrasive.
    And I've promised some people I'll not make it happen, that I'll not try to kill myself,
    It feels that I've taken on a disease that grows stronger with each second it asserts itself,
    There are only two outcomes that could stop the intensity of this horrid pain,
    One brings me release from the cell deep hurt, and makes my life a stain,
    For why should someone as horrid as I, walk the streets, breathe the air that others do,
    Maybe they're right; I'm not fit to sit here with the others, as human beings,
    And what if I should break the bonds, the chains that hold me here suffering,
    For whom would it be a loss - my grandchildren mostly I fear,
    For me to turn my back on them, in this way seem to them, clear -
    That Gramma was sick and loved herself more than anyone, even them,
    For she took a "coward's" way out of this life, and now would be judged by Him.
    When told I couldn't see them because of what their grandfather had done,
    I wracked my brain, and saw that two things could not even approach the other one.
    So, I have some good reasons, my grandchildren, with whom there is mutual love,
    And for each moment I spend with them, seems a triumph from up above,
    But I wonder, and wait for the day when the family lies will burst from me,
    For I seem to be the only one who worked against, but still sees this malady,
    This keeping of secrets, this denial of truth staring them right in the face,
    And I know there will be no trumph 'til they're older and their questions can be answered with truth and with grace.
  2. asri

    asri Well-Known Member

    hey there,

    'For why should someone as horrid as I, walk the streets, breathe the air that others do,'

    probably bcos u really are not as horrid as u believe u r? why are you hurting so bad?

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