Why I want to go.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Mightbehere, Jun 9, 2008.

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  1. Mightbehere

    Mightbehere Well-Known Member

    Hi I hope you take the time to read my story and maybe you can offer some advice.
    In one word loneliness and not to mention the unforeseen circumstances. I am male and as such must try and 'lure' a female to me in order to 'mate' having failed to do this I can no longer bare any more pain.

    I grew up a happy young lad and entered high school as many do, I found a girl that was really attracted to me but I was very shy and wanted to settle into my new school first and thought girls where a scary big step she soon found someone else. I didn't miss not having a girlfriend as I liked developing my personality during this time 13-16. People pared off as we all got older I started wanting a girlfriend (17) and I was interested in them now, but all the decent ones where taken and I wasn't attracted to the rest. When I was 18 and entered collage I got loads of attntion and was wondering which girl is the 'best' type of person to start a relationship with...but that was shattered as I got sick...and I was sick for a long time in hospital...and with my hair falling out and such there was no time for that sort of stuff...who would want me...so I missed out. Now I am stable again and have may hair and 23 going on 24 and I am all alone. I am not a jelious person but it does trigger me to see young people in love and being together although I am happy for them it triggers me because I can't relate and it tears at my heart.

    I am very shy at this 'new' world after being out of it for some time...and it hurts becuase I put of waiting for people and then when I had all these nice girls that I could spent time with and form a bond it was taken away from me with out even me getting a 'taste' of love. WHAT IS THIS SOME KIND OF JOKE! so thats me and thats why I suck I can't relate to people now days I and a genetic dead end I feel I am not even sure if I can still have kids because of my treatment...a sad sad joke was played on me and it was not funny at all.

    As you can see I have no desire to be a rotten corpse and I am rather bitter with females who throw themselves at guys who are complete douches and treat them like shit when I would of treated them great and we could of had fantastic times together. I cry myself to sleep sometimes being alone is terrible. Oh I have some friends but they don't make any bother and I run around trying to organize things for us to do.

    Hope all the people that got to lay girls when they where 15 and had all these 'cool' teenage and collages romances are happy. I never got anything like that. And all thats left I guess are the jerks cast offs...even if I ws to meet a girl she would of been in so many relationships before hand how could ours compare.:eek:hmy:

    A very very sad man and one not soon to be in this world.
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    It sounds like you want to change your life, not leave...why not start by getting support (professional and peer) and make a small, reachable goal towards what you want...you want intimacy...what has stopped you?...explore that and see how you can get on your way...just my 2 sense...J
  3. Summer.Rain

    Summer.Rain Well-Known Member

    Dude... im 23 too.. i had sex with 15 year old, 18 year old, 20 year old girls
    There is nothing so spacial about it.. you really should take it easy.
    And im not a good looking guy...

    It really shouldnt be a reason to think about death...
    I had few freands, most of them never had sex, i know how hard
    it is for them, there was one, i helped him to find a girl, he had sex and then he told me that i was right and there is nothing spacial about it.
    So from my own expiriance, im really telling you to take it easy.
    There are many much older guys who never had sex or relations.
    Im 23 and i dont have relation expiriance, my longest relation was 1 week..

    Anyways if you want to talk about more private things or anything ales
    i could help you with, PM me. If there is at least one good thing about me
    that is that i know much about how to help others with it and i helped many guys with it
    so maybe i could help you too.
  4. frankie626

    frankie626 Active Member

    Ask urself.. What makes a man desirable through the eyes a woman.. obviously a woman will want a man thats fit, clean, successful, and confident. The clean part is easy.. Shower daily, make sure to smell good and always have on nice cloths when u go out cause u never know when u might run into a potential target. =) The fit part will take some time depending on how often if all u go to the gym. Get urself a personal trainer and learn the proper way to get fit. Successful doesn't mean u have to be a ballah.. Thats considering we'll be excluding all the gold diggers.. U don't want to be messing with those. Get urself a job and learn to be independent. And confidence.. A good way to build confidence and meet women at the same time is to take some classes.. speech, art and music are good ones cause they force you to open up with your fellow classmates.. Its all a game of numbers.. You have nothing to loose the more women you approach the more likely you will be to find someone. Good luck I hope i was able to help.
  5. middleofnowhere

    middleofnowhere Well-Known Member

    I know it might sound cliche-like, but perhaps you might consider that the girls worth knowing are in a position similar to yours. I was extremely shy during my teen years, and only dated three girls. I had decided I didn't want sex until I was married, so relationships were less sexually charged.

    When you meet the right girl, she won't care how long you spent in the hospital or how your hair looks or whatever else you're worried about. She'll love you for you, and knowing that she's your first gf may make her feel special.

    Sex is great, but it's nothing to build a relationship on. We humans seem to get things turned around at times. Reality is that good sex comes out of a solid relationship.

    Relax and enjoy the life you've been given.

  6. mittens

    mittens Active Member

    love is a fleeting dream.

    at least, what i have seen-my experiences with my parents, relatives, friends, and my personal experiences.

    when you're alone you want to be with somone

    when you're with somone you want to be with somone else.

    find somthing else you can love, i know for me that was deticating all my time to my music, its not too late to start somthing great that is infinitely more satisfying and engaging. do the things you always wanted to do, and really apply yourself, and you may find yourself truly content with your own being. for me it was a foriegn feeling, i was psuedo proud of myself, and it filled that hole that no one except yourself can fill
  7. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Dont beat yourself up for not having had a girlfriend. You don't need the excess bags. If you focus on your education others will see you are dedicated. Girls willcome in time. One thing you need to think about is getting your education.Work hard towrds that and you will start feeling good about yourself.
    With college behind you. you will find a good job and will be able to afford to have a serious date. You will look more mature and that will attract some girls.
    I want to say i am proud of you and I am sure others will be also. You are to young to be contiplating death. get ahold of a good friend and talk things over. Hopefully they won't abandom you. If no one makes that commitment to be there for you it is there loss not yours. Stay strong and keep your positive awnsers to life and stay close to your group of friends. I hope this helps a little!:chopper:
  8. beauutyy

    beauutyy Well-Known Member

    well, i am sorry you got to miss out on something that means alot to you. but it wasnt your fault,you got real sick. and now,that you are better you still do have a chance,and trust me,not all women are whores and there are still some that are looking for a nice guy like yourself! Dont give up hope so soon. And even if she had previous relationships, why should that affect the one you and her start? i mean,if she really likes you for who you are, then really you not having a girl would could mean less to her. but idk,i guess it depends on the girl. You sound like a real nice guy, and I am sure that you will get all the happiness you deserve and more!

    Stay strong,and if you ever need someone to talk to, i'm here :)
  9. Esmeralda

    Esmeralda Well-Known Member

    How could your relationship compare, you ask? Well, for one, it might actually be successful. If their other relationships had been so great, wouldn't they still be with that person? Trust me, you have plenty of time and plenty of options to meet the woman of your dreams and to have a very succesful relationship.
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