Hi I hope you take the time to read my story and maybe you can offer some advice. In one word loneliness and not to mention the unforeseen circumstances. I am male and as such must try and 'lure' a female to me in order to 'mate' having failed to do this I can no longer bare any more pain. I grew up a happy young lad and entered high school as many do, I found a girl that was really attracted to me but I was very shy and wanted to settle into my new school first and thought girls where a scary big step she soon found someone else. I didn't miss not having a girlfriend as I liked developing my personality during this time 13-16. People pared off as we all got older I started wanting a girlfriend (17) and I was interested in them now, but all the decent ones where taken and I wasn't attracted to the rest. When I was 18 and entered collage I got loads of attntion and was wondering which girl is the 'best' type of person to start a relationship with...but that was shattered as I got sick...and I was sick for a long time in hospital...and with my hair falling out and such there was no time for that sort of stuff...who would want me...so I missed out. Now I am stable again and have may hair and 23 going on 24 and I am all alone. I am not a jelious person but it does trigger me to see young people in love and being together although I am happy for them it triggers me because I can't relate and it tears at my heart. I am very shy at this 'new' world after being out of it for some time...and it hurts becuase I put of waiting for people and then when I had all these nice girls that I could spent time with and form a bond it was taken away from me with out even me getting a 'taste' of love. WHAT IS THIS SOME KIND OF JOKE! so thats me and thats why I suck I can't relate to people now days I and a genetic dead end I feel I am not even sure if I can still have kids because of my treatment...a sad sad joke was played on me and it was not funny at all. As you can see I have no desire to be a rotten corpse and I am rather bitter with females who throw themselves at guys who are complete douches and treat them like shit when I would of treated them great and we could of had fantastic times together. I cry myself to sleep sometimes being alone is terrible. Oh I have some friends but they don't make any bother and I run around trying to organize things for us to do. Hope all the people that got to lay girls when they where 15 and had all these 'cool' teenage and collages romances are happy. I never got anything like that. And all thats left I guess are the jerks cast offs...even if I ws to meet a girl she would of been in so many relationships before hand how could ours compare.hmy: A very very sad man and one not soon to be in this world.