From coming here, I've read people's posts, and always felt their desperation. But I always thought I was different because I had someone who cared about me, and I cared about them. Someone who didn't want me to go and wanted me to hang on. So I felt like I really had something to live for. Me and her have been good friends. We would always talk if I was depressed, or if she was depressed. And we were always there for each other. Two weeks ago, she got in a fight with a friend. And every single art class she would wait by the door for me and we would walk to the next class together. And we talked about my depression. And then, she and that friend made up. And now, she doesn't walk or talk with me much. I feel like I was used, because we don't talk anymore about our problems or even about normal stuff. It feels like she just used me, because she wasn't used to being alone. And she says everyday "We'll talk tomorrow, we'll talk tomorrow I promise" and I'll feel happy because I know we will talk the next day, but we never do. She has so many close friends, and I only had her. And now we don't talk to each other anymore. I feel completely used. She was the only person I could confide in and now I have nobody left. My parents are complete assholes, I've lost my best and only friend, my grades have slipped down the shitter, and I can't live up to everybodies expectations anymore. I've never felt this crappy before. I've felt like complete shit before, but now that I have nobody left I feel way more crappy. And I've measured out necessary lethal doses of the drugs in my house, due to the lack of other means. I think I am going to kill myself tomorrow. I'm going to write a note, and tell everybody it wasn't their fault because I just don't want to be a burden anymore, and I don't want anyone to be traumatized or anything. I'm just so tired, and now I really, truly only have this forum to tell. I could go on about my problems, about how deep I've been cutting my arm, that people are beginning to alienate me at school, how people are announcing that I hurt myself, and so much other shit but I just don't feel like it anymore. What the hell am I supposed to do?