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Why is it ok to be disrespectful?

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Witty_Sarcasm, Jul 2, 2016.

  1. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    I was walking home from the store, minding my own business, when suddenly I heard someone honking. Naturally I looked over, thinking I might know them. It was just some kid who was flipping me off and laughing about it. Whoever was honking must have approved, because I didn't hear them say a word. What I don't understand is why a kid who's about 10, who obviously is old enough to know the difference between right and wrong, would think it's alright to do something like that. What baffles me even further is why an adult would approve of that behavior. I was angry all the way home, swearing and just feeling my blood pressure rise. I hate acting like that, but being demeaned is something that really bothers me. I am usually the target for things like that. My friend told me to ignore the negativity and let it roll off my back, but I'm not sure how to do that. Am I overreacting, and if so, how do I handle things better in the future?
    SinisterKid likes this.
  2. SinisterKid

    SinisterKid We either find a way, or make one. SF Supporter

    I walk like a drunk with stabilizers. I get stared at constantly. Even car drivers slow down to take a longer look. I use ski poles, not crutches because they aid the actual motion of walking better than crutches. Somedays they piss me off so badly i swear at them "what the f**k you looking at ya pr**k" or, "do ya want a friggin photograph ya t**t. Other days I wave at people. Sometimes I even ask them if they want to know what is wrong with me as they are staring at me so must be wondering. I how react very much depends on how I am that day. Some days its just water off a ducks back and doesn't bother me at all.

    So no, you are not overreacting, you are reacting like a normal human being and like me, it probably just depends on how you feel that particular day. How do you handle it better? Sorry, cant help you there as I dont handle it well sometimes myself.
  3. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    I am sorry that people stare at you like that. I guess they can just be ignorant sometimes. My emotions can overwhelm me, but I am trying not to let that happen. It can be hard to do.
  4. SinisterKid

    SinisterKid We either find a way, or make one. SF Supporter

    I haven't hit anyone yet, so must be able to keep my emotions in check sometimes ;) The temptation is often there though.

    If people want to be ignorant and stare, theres nothing I can do to change it, so I just try to get on with it. I try not to worry about the things I have no control over. The head doc told me that one!
    Witty_Sarcasm likes this.
  5. AlexiMarie7

    AlexiMarie7 Staff Member Safety & Support

    I was reading this in a sombre tone in my head, then started to loosen up as I got to your swearing, and pretty much lost it by the time I got to "tw*t"...lol. Sorry, not even sorry for them.

    But it is all about our responses though as we cannot control others' actions. There will always be a plethora of people who, without cause, will just attack/mock/provoke or curse you; we can't ever change/eliminate or prevent this; we have to focus on us, and try to have more "water off duck's back" than upset days. Tough, believe me I know.

    It is natural to at least sometimes feel hurt or angry when these things happen. Responding calmly or not at all when you have been attacked without cause, targeted for no reason or betrayed etc sure is a challenge. Proud work in progress though :)
  6. AlexiMarie7

    AlexiMarie7 Staff Member Safety & Support

    Not "overreacting"; the feelings you experienced in the aftermath are pretty normal. Re handling things in future, sometimes I come up with theories/stories about the person. Like if someone cuts me off badly when driving, I may have a split second of annoyance, but then I tell myself okay maybe their house is on fire, or their only child is on their last breath.
    Or for the child in your story, I would think about him and probably think how unfortunate for him that he does not have proper adult guidance and think of how it may affect him in the long term. He may have hurt and upset you for a few minutes but developing those traits from that young, and having it encouraged, could lead to destructive behaviour and possible harsh consequences later in life (and make up any you choose).

    I basically try (when I remember) to make myself feel sorry for the person, which subconsciously helps me remember that it is THEM, not me.

    I forget this more than I remember tbh but I think it helps me a bit sometimes.
    Witty_Sarcasm and iam like this.
  7. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    I did feel a bit sorry for him. When I have kids, I will explain to them why things like that are wrong and that they can be hurtful to people. I know that kids will misbehave, but they should also be taught right from wrong. I haven't even thought of this really since it happened, and I'm not even upset about it anymore.
    iam likes this.
  8. Brian777

    Brian777 Safety and Support SF Artist SF Supporter

    Hey Witty, I'm sorry you were targeted by these simpletons. There are a lot of good people out there, but also a lot of arseholes........today you met an adult arsehole and an arsehole(in training) Both will somewhere down the road practice their ignorance on the wrong person and receive an arse kicking, of that I have no doubt. Don't let them get to you my friend.
    bobbob, Witty_Sarcasm and iam like this.
  9. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    I was thinking that too. If people treat others with such disrespect, at some point it will backfire on them. It's not really my problem if someone chooses to act that way. I can only choose how I react to such things (or not react to them).
    Brian777 and bobbob like this.
  10. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    I'm a firm believer in what goes around comes around. My sister wouldn't give out to my niece for calling me a fat prostitute, oh well...only time will tell. ((hugs)) im sorry they disrespected you.
    Witty_Sarcasm likes this.
  11. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    I'm sorry your family members are rude to you. You don't deserve that at all. *hugs*