I'm in a relatively good mood right now, and I'm thinking positively too. Super optimistic and it feels like this might be the "turn around" where shit starts getting better for me.
Problem is, I've seen all this shit before. I start being optimistic, I think "this is it, you're gonna get back on track" and then something bad happens and I give up. Sometimes it's a sad song that reminds me of my ex, sometimes it's something someone said, sometimes it's me feeling insecure. Whatever the reason is doesn't matter, all that matters is that the happiness never lasts. Just like that, all that positivity evaporates. Like it was never even there in the first place.
This is the first time I've become self-aware about all this. And its scaring me kinda. I really want this to be my turn around. I'm afraid that if it isn't, I might not come back out of this ditch I somehow found myself in. This past week has been the deepest depression I've ever been in, and I just came out of it. I don't want to go back to that nightmare.
What can I do or try in order to stay positive? I really don't want to drown but it's so damn tough to keep my head above the water when it floods.
Problem is, I've seen all this shit before. I start being optimistic, I think "this is it, you're gonna get back on track" and then something bad happens and I give up. Sometimes it's a sad song that reminds me of my ex, sometimes it's something someone said, sometimes it's me feeling insecure. Whatever the reason is doesn't matter, all that matters is that the happiness never lasts. Just like that, all that positivity evaporates. Like it was never even there in the first place.
This is the first time I've become self-aware about all this. And its scaring me kinda. I really want this to be my turn around. I'm afraid that if it isn't, I might not come back out of this ditch I somehow found myself in. This past week has been the deepest depression I've ever been in, and I just came out of it. I don't want to go back to that nightmare.
What can I do or try in order to stay positive? I really don't want to drown but it's so damn tough to keep my head above the water when it floods.