I am finding it increasingly hard to hold onto life when life let go of me a long time ago. Why is it so hard to be “normal”? Or, perhaps what I should say is: why is it so hard to be what society DEFINES as “normal”? I must have been out sick the day they taught “Normal” at my school – because I sure as hell have never understood it. My whole life I have been surrounded by people who seem to have no problem doing what everyone else does: making friends at school, partying, enjoying their youth, growing up to get a job, buying a car, meeting someone they want to spend the rest of their lives with, buying a house, having children, going to PTA meetings, having family vacations, welcoming grandchildren, retiring…. Does anyone know how it is done? So many people are living “The Normal Life” every day, so it can’t be completely impossible. Just for me. It is too late for me now, but I am just curious about where I went wrong. At which point in my life did I take the left turn, when everyone else veered right? I wasn’t born alone. So what happened? One day I looked around and everyone was gone. I was alone on the left lane, and whilst I could see everyone else across the way, I could never get over there. I have spent my whole life on the outside looking in. I have always felt like I was standing outside a big house in the freezing rain, looking in through the window and seeing everyone else inside partying, socializing, laughing and…LIVING. I guess that is why my world has always seemed so lonely. Everyone else is having a blast at the party of life. I seem to be the only person on the planet who never received an invitation. Is there anyone else out there who never got their invite in the mail? Is it too late to organize a party of our own? Is there anyone else who believes there has GOT to be another planet out there where we might belong? It sure as hell isn’t this one. E.T. phone home? Wish I knew the number.