Why is it so hard to stop SI

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by givenuponlife, Apr 9, 2007.

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  1. givenuponlife

    givenuponlife Well-Known Member

    I have been doing it for years. I think i started in grade 7 and i havent been able to stop. It is the only way i can cope with things. I have tried many of times to stop but been unsuccessful everytime, even when i have been in the hospital i still get major urges to do it. Lately i have had more and more urges to SI and i gather the way i have been doing it is a form of SH/SI but not the usual way i hurt myself. I have tried many different ways to stop and i have come to the conclusion that once a self injurer/self harmer always one, even if you stop for a period of time you will always be one. It will always be in the back of your mind, like it is for me. It is usually a thought of mine everyday which bothers me. For me it gets to the point that i find anyway of inflicting pain on myself (no matter how small the pain is). I am making sure of not giving hints on SI/SH that is why my thoughts are all over the place with this post, sorry about that.
  2. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    SI is most often essentially a symptom of inner pain, so ideally, the best way to stop the need and urge to SI is to heal the pain that makes you feel the urge.

    From what you say I assume that you have had professional support. Are you receiving help at the moment? What therapies have you tried (ie CBT, DBT, etc)? Have you come across and considered therapeutic communities?

    There are two ways to look at trying to stop SI, one is to fight the short term urge, and the other is to fight the long term pain.

    When you harm, what is it that you are trying to release? Or what are you looking to achieve from it? If you can figure out what it is that you look for in SI then you might be able to find another way, ie, if you are releasing anger when you SI, then you can try things like beating up a pillow, screaming into a pillow, scribbling on a piece of paper, etc.

    You do mention that it is about inflicting pain on yourself, have you tried pinging yourself with an elastic band? this doesn't harm you but absolutely fucking kills if you have the technique right, holding ice as tight as you can for as long as you can also hurts but is not harmful. Maybe you could try those to beat the need to hurt yourself.

    It is possible to stop, and it is possible to heal the pain that makes you SI, but it will take time. Keep fighting honey
  3. kindtosnails

    kindtosnails Staff Alumni

    I slightly disagree with S, well, not disagree, just that I think that healing the pain causing the SI is a much more long term thing, and that as you also mentioned, it should be possible in the meantime to find alternatives. This is just my own personal advice, feel a bit hypocritical giving anyone advice right now but whatever...I have a box, kind of like what people call a 'happy box' and I think there's other names for it, but mine is more of a 'distraction box'. I fill it with things that can be either distractions (eg. a copy of your favourite film or a book you like, or a list of other distractions, mine also has my knitting in it :unsure: ), 'alternatives' (which to me would be things that aim to get the same thing...release, or what it is you generally feel when you SI. eg. a notebook to write or scribble in.) I also have lists of other things I could do that don't fit in the box. eg. run, walk, websites for distractions etc, music etc. It also has stuff that makes you feel happy, or brings back memories or reminds me of things, like I have some pictures, and something a friend gave me. The point in the box, I'm trying to say in a long winded way is that I don't have to think up all these things when I have the urge and feel like crap anyway, because I put it all together on a better day, and there's lots of options so gradually you learn what helps and what doesn't, my idea is that eventually you don't need a box or lists, because you can kind of re-wire your brain from going feel shit > SI to feel shit > *insert other coping strategy here*. That'd be my 2 pennies worth. :smile:
  4. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    I apologise if I gave the impression it was a quick process, that was not the intention at all. Maybe I over simplified. Given personal circumstances I can tell you it's not quick, but my personal opinion is that healing the inner pain should help the urge to SI, also maybe changing thought processes too.

    But yeh, I know it's not quick, trust me.
  5. Zurkhardo

    Zurkhardo Well-Known Member

    Love. Love and attention are often the best cure. In the zoo and pet store buisness, which I am in, intelligent animals have been known to self-injure themselves during periods of neglect and lack of love. People I've personally known have self-injured, and each of them ceased upon making friends and finding people who cared.

    Do you have friends you can tell and trust with this?
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