Why is it so hard to talk about it to people I know? There are a lot of people who know I'm depressed (not suicidal though) and they are always telling me that if I need to talk they are there for me. There are points where I'm going to talk to my older sister or my best friend about it and then I can't. I think I'd be ok if I could just talk about it. This isn't the only suicide community I belong to and I've had several people add me to their MSN and tell me I can talk to them but I can't. I'm fine talking on the message board and making a post, but as soon as it's instant messaging or face to face I can't. I'm so scared of their reactions when they find out just how close to actually doing it I am, and that I keep putting it off. Or about how many times I've tried and failed. The times I've tried and failed I was scared and cowardly the whole time so thats why it didn't work. I really don't want my mom or sister to know that I've tried already.