Why is it someone so close tend to betray us?

[HappyKitty]

I told this friend Marsha, a very long time friend and I find sus that she tend to correct me a lot and not take in considerations to why I'm like this so she took that advantage to go "is it because of your ADHD? your anxiety? This this...your birth control you messed up? your meds? why are you not agreeing with ne, why do you get so sensitive when I correcting you." In fact, she's the one thats been so overly sensitive all along.

I couldn't even bothered to explain that. I mean if you explain that then you're sorta naive I feel. Like won't you get annoyed if you keep being corrected as if someone trying to control you. When I corrected her that shes the same for "being interrupting," she blocks tf out of me in watsapp, tf. I block her back. she kinda forgot to block on other social media so I do the same. its getting cummulative.

Marsha is I would say, I wouldn't want to be friends with someone who keep thinking theres something wrong with me in all aspects trying to be so accurate abt every of my diagnosis, they're not my doctor hello. And Diyana on the other hand, I've far off very careful not to open up my side cause the minute I do that she'd get crazy manipulative, competitive, she's very much an insensitive person over all.

I have stopped approaching them long ago but the thought of always being betrayed, rejected whenever I expressed myself / my opinions isn't matter does haunt me time to time. Even with some helplines the same. You just can't trust anybody. I have only been hanging out with my closest cousin at least family matters for now.

 

[Dante]

Im afraid this is confirmation bias. I can remember every time a friend turned their back on me or betrayed me, but I cant remember really any of the times strangers did it to me because they didn't matter enough to be worthy of remembrance and their betrayal didn't really hurt, because we had no relationship for them to betray.

People are judgemental, and far more prone to see fault in others than themselves, and most people will never accept anything that makes them feel like the bad guy because no one wants to be the bad guy and its easier to ignore any evidence and live in ignorance than it is to change and grow.

It is hard to find someone you can call a true friend, someone you can rely on in times of need, or who just gets you or who will always be fair to you, these are rare. Its not just you, and its ok. We all get shitty friends sometimes, and we cut them off because they are toxic and we move on. Eventually you will find someone decent, someone who will be a true friend, just accept that it takes time and dont be too afraid to reach out at all because you may miss them if you do.

 

[Hollowruler86]

I was once betrayed by a close friend. Long story short I cut all ties with them. It just taught me that even someone you consider a friend can really be a two faced enemy waiting for an opportune chance to stab you in the back.

 

[Lady Wolfshead]

Someone here said "a friend shouldn't make you feel bad about yourself" and I think that is generally a good rule. It would not apply in the case of a misunderstanding or something unintentional on their part.

 

[Dante]

Someone here said "a friend shouldn't make you feel bad about yourself" and I think that is generally a good rule. It would not apply in the case of a misunderstanding or something unintentional on their part.

I would also say that tough love is an acceptable reason for a friend to make you feel bad about yourself, but they should also be ready and willing to help pick you back up again after.

 

[Gonz]

she took that advantage to go "is it because of your ADHD? your anxiety? This this...your birth control you messed up? your meds?

Marsha is I would say, I wouldn't want to be friends with someone who keep thinking theres something wrong with me in all aspects trying to be so accurate abt every of my diagnosis, they're not my doctor hello. And Diyana on the other hand, I've far off very careful not to open up my side cause the minute I do that she'd get crazy manipulative, competitive, she's very much an insensitive person over all.

This is why I’m very careful about revealing anything about my issues to people IRL; once you do, that’s all they see and they judge every single thing you do or say based purely on that.

Any time you disagree with them, it’s dismissed because you’re “crazy.” Any time you get upset or angry with them, it’s because of your issues and not whatever shitty thing they did.

It gets real old, real quick.

 

[HappyKitty]

Wah thanks for replying, just saw this. 😸

Yea people say a lot of misconceptions, faulty things about you somehow like whether its conflicts or not. Its true, its getting old and very sick of it to the point, I bet its a normal reaction you'd wanna get even.

Like

If I get help, I'm being called a hypochondria.
If I express my emotions so openly, I'm like someone mental.
And when I don't express myself like a robot, they'd go "don't you know how to tap on your emotions? how are you soo positive."

Its so impossible that we can't please people whether our opinions are valued/popular or not. We always have the right and freedom to make our own decisions. Its just so easy, people judge without even asking and its as if putting other people down is a thing these days, easy to get insulted when they find out what you're vulnerable at.