Why is it that we like sad things when we are sad?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by anarulesmenow, Dec 8, 2010.

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  1. anarulesmenow

    anarulesmenow Well-Known Member

    The title of this might seem a little bit vague. But usually when I'm sad about something or other people are they like to listen to sad music or watch sad films or whatever. I'm guilty of this too. Is it masochistic of us?
    Sorry, might seem a weird thread but Ive always wondered why we prefer sad things when we are sad, instead of things that could cheer us up.
    Is it because we can relate to it?
     
  2. Confusticated

    Confusticated Well-Known Member

    You got it in one. It's beacuse it matches our mood, which is why we like happy things when we're happy, funny things when we're in a humerous mood, etc. If I'm pissed off for example, I'll listen to heavy metal. You answered your own thread ;)
     
  3. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    The only think that comes to mind is that misery likes company. We can relate to those feelings.
     
  4. anarulesmenow

    anarulesmenow Well-Known Member

    Yeah it's just something I've always found interesting.
     
  5. Confusticated

    Confusticated Well-Known Member

    We find comfort in things we can relate to. So if you watched a happy film while you were sad, it'd probably not do much unless you were already starting to feel better. Watching a sad one though could save your life if you were on the verge of suicide. It is interesting, the way the human mind works.
     
  6. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    I know when Im sad, listening to a sad song feels like its talking to me, like I can relate to what its saying and how that person is feeling.

    But when Im sad I try not to bring more on to me than I already have, so I do the oppisite, when Im sad I will watch comedies, listen to club music, anything I can to try and bring that mood back around.
     
  7. anarulesmenow

    anarulesmenow Well-Known Member

    For me, when I'm sad I can't listen to or watch anything happy. I have this need to listen to sad music. Maybe it's because I feel like I should feel that way and I'm in a way self harming with the music, or maybe it's because I feel that if I try and do happy stuff when I'm not happy, I'm not being true to myself. It's not real and it will make the sad stuff even worse when the happy song or film has ended.
     
  8. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    I can see that, I think its differant for each of us. For me, its not about being true to myself (well because Im always sad) its what I can do to get me out of that funk, to try and make my mood better.

    I do to listen to heavy music when mad like above, nothing like feeling that rage to get your heartbeat going, but when I watch sad movies when Im already down, I start thinking damn if thats all I had to be sad over, or why cant I have easy problems like that. (which is damning to me, because I shouldnt undermine anyones problems)
     
  9. Mortal Moon

    Mortal Moon Well-Known Member

    "Sadness" can mean so many different things. I might say that the cruelty and injustice of the world, or being humiliated, or the threat of pain all make me sad, but the subtext is that I'm equally afraid and angry at this state of affairs, and it's certainly not an emotion I ever enjoy feeling. On the other hand, sadness is also what I feel when contemplating loss, mortality, nostalgia, our cosmic insignificance, the futility of human ambitions, etc. But it seems to me that this is a very different sort of feeling from the one that arises from simple fear, anxiety, and hatred. I personally find a great deal of beauty and meaning in the latter, but no intrinsic value in the former.
     
  10. All these mixed emotions

    All these mixed emotions Well-Known Member

    Yes its the human drive to relate to the missery that you feel...

    Like nice emo-music :)


    //L
     
  11. sunshinesblack

    sunshinesblack Well-Known Member

    for me its because invaldation causes more misery so i need something to go with my state
     
  12. Ziggy

    Ziggy Antiquitie's Friend

    I chucked all my sad CD's away. Problem solved.
     
  13. johnnysays

    johnnysays Well-Known Member

  14. sunshinesblack

    sunshinesblack Well-Known Member

    whait, emo people listen to vangelis? :O
     
  15. Arthur

    Arthur Account Closed

    I like listening to sad songs when i'm sad or watching drama movies.
    I guess it's to find solace, the feeling that an artist felt that way and wanted to make us feel we're not alone in sadness, other people go through that phase too.
     
  16. phoenix44

    phoenix44 Well-Known Member

    I think it's because we don't want to feel alone in our sadness. To me it's torture to be around happy people when I'm upset about something...I end up resenting them because it seems they could never relate to my problems. Same for happy movies...they end up irritating me when I'm depressed because I just can't relate to them at all.

    I think it all comes down to wanting to feel validated...sad songs or movies are a way for us to see that we're not the only ones who experience difficult times. And it's pretty amazing when you discover a song or something that describes exactly the way you feel.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 10, 2010
  17. boo

    boo Well-Known Member

    So true
     
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