Why is it..

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by zombieinc, Jan 18, 2007.

  1. zombieinc

    zombieinc Member

    that every time I find a new job, I want to quit? Give me about three weeks at a job, and I will find myself filled with self loathing and depression. I get this urge to run, and not look back. I convince myself that the grass is greener somewhere else. Ignoring the feeling that it isn't going to be any easier anywhere else.

    Im a terribly shy person. But I decided to step out of my comfort zone, and take a job where I have to answer the phones all day, I have to sell glasses to customers (I'm an optician), and I have to try an connect with the people that I am working with.

    Lets just say I get panicky before I answer the phone, or when customers come in. I feel nervous and stressed all the time, and it makes me come across as stupid. I'm so nervous that I have a hard time listening or comprehending everything they are telling me, and I can tell my boss is beginning to get really frustrated with me. Not only that I have no idea what to say to my fellow employees, I hate talking about myself, and they don't really talk to me and ask questions.

    I went into this job feeling strong, and positive. But every day I feel like something is eating away at me. Like accidentally stepping in some quicksand, and everyday I'm just a little deeper, until I drown in it. I just get so frustrated with myself. I don't like dealing with my problems. I just want to run away, and never look back. I can see why everyone that I work with has a drinking problem. God I needed to vent. Thanks for listening.:smile:
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 18, 2007
  2. Jenny

    Jenny Staff Alumni

    Hi there,

    I hope it helped to write here.. i'm glad that you did :)

    It sounds really difficult and confusing for you.. You say that you're a shy person but you have a job where you have to face people, either over the phone or in person, daily. I know that you want to push yourself out of your comfort zone.. but are there other ways you can get out of your comfort zone without doing a job that fills you with dread every day?

    There is 'stepping out of your comfort zone'.. and there is 'torture'! You are you doing a job that is physically and emotionally demanding.. and personally i think it's understandable that you feel like running away from it all.

    Do you have any support at the moment, like a counsellor or a good friend to confide in? Maybe this would help..

    Personally i think you're doing a great job. I mean, you're stepping so far out of your comfort zone.. you're certainly not doing things by half.. give yourself credit. It's not an easy thing to do.. and despite the urges to run away, you haven't. You may learn a lot about yourself, and other people, while doing this job.

    But please remember to look after yourself first and foremost. If the job really does get too much for you, it is perfectly ok and acceptable for you to get a different job. Maybe one that isn't quite as emotionally demanding. You're taking on a lot..

    I wish you all the best with it and hope you'll keep posting here if it helps. I'd be interested to hear how it goes (if you want to share)

    :arms:
    Jenny x