That when you tell someone you are going to do it that they act like they dont believe you? Why is it that when you even tell family members and then they go on and say well do it if you want to? My gosh , do they think i am not serious??? What will they do when they find out i really did do it? I just wonder about that....... This little dove is not going to be here much more longer and this is a promise and when i make a promise i stick with it... I have made a choice and it was my choice... When a person wants to die there is nothing that can really stop them... For me its gonna happen and i dont care rather anyone believes that or not but it is going to happen and that is my promise to all... I have lost everything i ever cared about in my life.. it is all gone.. i have nothing.. nothing to hold on to.. so this little dove is going to fly away.. no date set , it will just happen.. i have lost just too much... you know whats driving me to do this? Those who have hurt me , those who havent cared for me when they should , those who have put more hurt upon my heart , like the daltons , and my brother , those who have placed those icons that were meant to them as fun it is driving me to do this very act.. it wont go away.. it wont ever quit hurting me.. When is it ever going to be enough? its not... so my dear older brother , my dear daltons , my dear fun makers you drove me to this , you really did , you fueled the fire and now its outta control.. So why is it that they dont believe we can do it when we say we can? just wondering... what is their motive to think we are not capable of actually doing the job...? well guess i will have to prove them all wrong again when i do it.. but this time theres no saving me..