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Why is it........

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by A Self Made Loser, Feb 15, 2008.

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  1. A Self Made Loser

    A Self Made Loser Active Member

    People who want to live and do good in the world have their lives cut short and taken away from them by some scumbag on the street who decided for kicks they will randomly shoot or stab that person for no reason. Yet people like myself who hates life and feel sick and tired of feeling depressed can not do enough to end the misery.

    I wonder if life is actually hell and we are made to suffer to the point of breaking. Or is modern day society with it's fast paced living and unrelenting misgivings made us as human beings victims of our design.

    BS programs about how we should look, think, eat, buy, sell, exercise, wash, breath are distorting our minds to complete anxiety. Or is people that suffer with long term depression and suicidal thoughts through inability of not conforming to society ills mean we are weak, not part of the new back stabbing, lying, cheating, elitest, so called perfect world where we have never had it so good, mean we shouldn't be here or have the right to be here.

    Seems to me, people who advocate greed and the destruction of innocent peoples lives are the ones that prosper and survive quite easily and happy.

    My oldest brother was on the verge of commiting suicide two weeks ago when his wife was due to give birth to their first born in three months time only to find they had lost the baby. My brother has always had trouble trying to have kids and at 36 with his wife at 37 felt this was the last roll of the dice.

    It would of been the first grand baby to my parents, my mum was distraught. Even my drunk alcoholic father shed a tear. My middle brother who has always been the troubled son, tried commiting suicide last week through a cocaine and painkiller binge. He is in a huge amount of debt and still lives at home (33 years old). But he has potential to do great things but puts himself into troubling situations, he has a gf who is 26 but has the mental age of a 12 year old so the combo couple just dosent work there! Bad for eachother people say but they are happy so good for them I guess.

    I myself I have no great talents and do not feel I belong to any part of society, but given how violent and disgusting it is I don't really feel a burning desire to be part of it, but it is the "done thing" and you can't fight the government on that since they make the rules.

    I have been ok for a while but the thoughts of sweet death in the back of the mind still feel me with a sense of anticipation to the exit door of this shitty life I have. What fuelled it once more was not the rude and heartless people of everyday life but a extract from a newspaper that was about a small town called Bridgend in Wales where the suicide toll in a year or two has hit 24!

    24 suicides in one town through hanging, all are mainly males under 30 who have hung themselves. If you don't know about this then type Bridgend suicides into the search engine and get the insight there.

    It begs the question, are we far unhappier now as members of modern society than we as human beings have ever been before in our existence?

    Maybe its just the new pressures of the hypocritical ways of information bombarding our every thought that is making people finally break......
  2. SweetVitriol

    SweetVitriol Antiquitie's Friend

    I guess I can understand what you are saying..It is like we are being punished for opening our eyes and giving a damn about the world we live in and the people who occupy it..

    Only the ignorant or the elite seem to thrive in this world and I am torn between giving up or hanging around so I can spit in their faces.. Some times I wish I could be one of those people who drift through this life totally unaware of the pain and the suffering but once your eyes are opened, they cannot be closed again (Either through a supreme effort or shed loads of drugs..

    Your comment about this being hell also rings true...Leonard Cohen said that there must be a heaven as we are already living in hell and I tend to agree with him (Despite not subscribing to all that heavenly reward bull that religion touts as a way to keep us servile)

    From your post it is obvious that you are a smart person and I beg you to post whatever you are feeling on the forum..If you leave it inside it will eat away at you and leave nothing but a husk..I should know..

    As for the brainless, vacuous media and society..Let them be blinkered..No one can tell you how to live your life or how to look..The only downside of this is the abuse and scorn that those mindless lemmings pour onto those of us who are different..But all you have to remember is that they are the ones who anaethetise themselves with shallowness of modern society not you..

    You are not alone in feeling this way..
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